this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2026
62 points (70.9% liked)

Selfhosted

59778 readers
590 users here now

A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.

Rules:

  1. Be civil: we're here to support and learn from one another. Insults won't be tolerated. Flame wars are frowned upon.

  2. No spam posting.

  3. Posts have to be centered around self-hosting. There are other communities for discussing hardware or home computing. If it's not obvious why your post topic revolves around selfhosting, please include details to make it clear.

  4. Don't duplicate the full text of your blog or github here. Just post the link for folks to click.

  5. Submission headline should match the article title (don’t cherry-pick information from the title to fit your agenda).

  6. No trolling.

  7. No low-effort posts. This is subjective and will largely be determined by the community member reports.

Resources:

Any issues on the community? Report it using the report flag.

Questions? DM the mods!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I give up.

I tried left and right to try to install an email server so I could degoogle my life.

But therechnical barrier is thick and Google keeps adding more to it. Forget it. I can't even get thru the installation process much less trying to get my shit off Google.

I figure, I don't actually have any need for my email addresses. Just like my phone number. I never call anyone. I'm going to discourage my kids from using email at all. I'll remind everyone I know that I don't use email at every opportunity I get just like I remind people to not call me and that my phone number is not available.

Between spammers and Google, I just don't need this headache in my life. My mom is much less technically savvy than the average pet. So Google will just siphon her data and when the megabits are full then you just delete the old stuff.

You don't need it. No one will spend their life reading your emails when you're gone or watching your videos or listening to your recordings or viewing your photos. There's no need to worry about just deleting the pile of shit you've accumulated. I'm this done.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] mic_check_one_two@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I prefer to follow the advice from people who actually set up and maintain email servers: “Fucking don’t. It’s not worth it.”

Just get a custom domain and run it through an existing email provider.

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

I’ve been running my own eMail server for almost a quarter century, and I have no clue what all the fuss is about.

Sure, providers are getting very picky about what domains that they will receive eMails from. But that’s why I have gMail, Yahoo, and Microsoft webmail accounts - so I can train their systems by exchanging emails once a quarter.

And yes, you do have to be running whitelists and blacklists and tarpits and have a good Fail2Ban in place. And good geoIP system if you want to cut out regions that you are unlikely to ever have legitimate mail originate from. But that’s just common sense security.

[–] fuzzzerd@programming.dev 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I hate that it's come to this, but you are right.

It's not that it's too difficult, it's that there are too many things beyond your control due to the central duopoly of Google and Microsoft for email. If you end up in their bad graces it's hard to get out, and they don't care about you, there's no support or someone to talk to to get off the ban list.

[–] ampersandrew@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Would you care to give some additional context here? I haven't had the itch to host my own e-mail, but what kinds of misfortune do you encounter when you're not in the good graces of Google of Microsoft? And what could land you in that situation?

[–] fuzzzerd@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Mostly reputation of your IP address and domain, things which are hard to untangle. If you manage to get a clean IP you might be all clear.

There's other configurations that are required and if not right can harm your reputation, it isn't something you can set and forget.

[–] ampersandrew@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What is your reputation in this context? And what does losing it cost you?

[–] fuzzzerd@programming.dev 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Deliverability to major providers like Google or Microsoft. Can be just getting your emails flagged as spam, or them being sikently dropped and never delivered even to spam. Making it impossible know if your emails are being ignored by the recipient or not even delivered to their inbox. It's also impossible to troubleshoot.

[–] ampersandrew@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Maybe you said so in some lingo that's foreign to me, but what upsets that reputation? What kinds of configurations do they not like, and why is it not set and forget? Sorry for asking for a dissertation, but I never had any idea e-mail could be more complicated than set and forget.

[–] fuzzzerd@programming.dev 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

There are a few standards now, DKIM, SFP, DMARC, maybe more now, I don't know. If you send emails without these configured correctly the reputation of the domain and IP are lowered.

Past some internal threshold, you go from inbox to spam, and from spam to silently dropped.

Further, if you send too many emails in a short time, or more emails than usual, your reputation is lowered.

I'm sure there's more, but these are the kind of things that make it difficult. You make a config error, don't realize, then people start not getting your emails. You fix the config, but there's no way to get the reputation back and nobody at Microsoft or Google to ask to re-evaluate you.

[–] ampersandrew@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

Gotcha, thanks for taking the time to humor me. I never would have guessed.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 1 points 1 day ago

Yes exactly. For me, I could figure it out given enough weekends. But screw that. For my wife, my kids, my mom and dad, those things are hyroglyphics.