this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2026
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You missed out could. That's why we are not the same.
OK, if you are technically unable to do the act. Which now is lightyears away from my point π
You're deliberately misinterpreting me and insulting me at the same time. There's no need for that.
You said
And that's simply not true for most of us.
You characterised love and affection as hard to find, but I get love of various sorts readily from my wife, children and other family, and a great deal of affection from friends and some colleagues. You characterised sex as easy to find, stating I could get it anywhere and any time with anyone, and you argued with people who disagree, but the truth is that I can get sex only in my bedroom, only with my wife, only at night, and only when she is in the mood for it, and anything else is pure fiction, for me. Maybe not for you, but definitely for me.
That fact that you even think to assert that love and affection are hard to find and sex is easy to find is why we live very, very, very different lives. I'm not asking to swap, but we are NOT the same.
Maybe you mean something different than you're saying, but of you want to get your point across to us ordinary folk for whom a sex life as busy as our libido was a teenage fantasy that never turned up, you'd better start rephrasing and explaining rather than just claiming "technical" truth.
It's also "technically" true that you can get affection anywhere. Yesterday I gave a homeless guy a lift from his begging pitch outside the bus station to his tent and bought him and his girlfriend a pizza hut on the way, and he cried and hugged me. Today I met up with a bunch of friends and got about four hugs, which is totally normal for that bunch. Most people wouldn't call it love, but it's heaps of affection.
We live very different lives for you to claim what you claim.
I'm also troubled that you only said that you can't enforce love and affection. Enforcing sex is called rape. I'm guessing that you didn't mean that, but do you not see that you need to back down from some of the words and phrases that you used instead of defending them, and explain what you meant in a less provocative way?
I guess you deliberately want to misunderstand me. And I don't even get why.
Love is something rare, where two souls need find each other.
Sex, I could go to the next brothel and have it 10 times a day. Or go on tinder and let golddiggers have it. If you're a decently attractive woman, you'll get it for free on tinder in 5 minutes. Or in the next bar or wherever. I can also walk around asking anyone until I'm lucky.
So that's a simple COULD. Love you cannot simply get.
Maybe my point was badly phrased, I dunno. But insulting you surely wasn't my goal.
Brothels are illegal in my country.
The vast majority of people are absolutely nowhere near rich enough to attract golddiggers.
I don't know what proportion of women you believe are decently attractive, but surely you accept it isn't 100%. Also roughly 49% of us are male, and this absolutely and unequivocally is not the experience of even decently attractive men.
This would get me slapped and possibly arrested for sexual harassment. It would definitely, definitely, definitely not work. You have to either be an unusually attractive man or alternatively be seeking sex from men for this to have any chance whatsoever of success.
I keep telling you that your experience is far from typical, and I keep telling you that we live completely different lives. You are confident that you could easily get sex if you wanted it, whenever or wherever you wanted it. I promise you 100% that I am right that your experience is NOT universal. You live in a magical world of sex availability. By contrast I live in a blessed world of readily available affection from my friends (who I chose), surrounded by family that love me, but where sex is available with frequency lower than my preference and with zero realistic chance of me getting it elsewhere.
WE ARE NOT THE SAME. Accept it please, and stop telling me I'm wrong about what my own lived experience is like. You are WRONG.
I don't want to deliberately misunderstand you, I want you to hear me. Your experience of readily available sex whenever, wherever, whoever, is far from universal.
Wow, in what horrible dark age country do you live? This is the oldest trade on earth, and those are incredibly helpful and needed in a society.
You really don't get it. It has nothing to do with my life, my experiences or whatever. It's just the simple logic that getting just sex is ultimately easier than getting love. It might be harder (no pun intended) depending on your laws, your own morals or your net-worth, but still way easier to find someone that loves you.
The external factors aren't important. You might be ugly and poor and whatever, which would make tinder (or whatever people use nowadays) impossible. But even more difficult would finding love be. Of course one shouldn't rape, obviously in a civilized society, but one still TECHNICALLY could. But there's nothing in the world you could do to make someone love you, no matter how willing you're to do anything.
Again, this is absolutely not about personal experience, and has nothing to do with that.
That is not really the same kind of love you're talking about. Important too, but totally different. I, for example, have no family (except my wife) and there's nothing I could do to get one.
I'm sorry, but if it boils down to you claiming that someone can have sex wherever and wherever they want because technically they could rape someone, and if your argument is that love comes harder because you can't force anyone to love you, I absolutely come back to the we are NOT the same, and you are WRONG in more than one sense. Ready availability whenever and whenever of sex is for very attractive people and rapists. I'm neither. Stop trying to persuade me otherwise. You're wrong.
I have a friend who explained how easy it was to get sex, and it didn't even come close to involving rape, but no, no, that hinged on him being a different person to me physically and mentally. Surely if you were able to change yourself to be a different person physically and mentally it would be just as easy for you to find love.
Well you made a universal claim that anyone can get sex any time any where, and I think that's true only for a minority of people, and I was just using myself as a counterexample rather than arguing generalities because I absolutely am aware of where I sit in society and roughly how often and exactly where sex is available to me, and rather than admit that your massive overgeneralisation from your stud lifestyle is untrue, you argued with me that I was incorrect. About myself even. I'm not. You are.
Repeating myself here, but just because you seem to struggle with an absolute and universal fact, because you project yourself personally into a, as you weirdly stated, doesn't make it less valid.
And why do keep sticking to rape. It's one of many possibilities to get laid. By money, by time and effort, by accident, luck or even forced means. Just because YOU couldn't AND also live in some theocratic hellhole where one couldn't even buy it, doesn't mean the guy next door couldn't. Or the majority of the world. Some rare exceptions where multiple points combine to a negative, does not invalidate a general rule. The larger part of a bell-curve sure can, in whatever way. Easier for some, harder for others, but possible. Otherwise I would wonder why earth is so crowded with us humans.
Finding real romantic love though. Can't buy it. And it's also that one single thing that gets worse the more money you have. Be rich, end up alone. Or fake being poor until you do. Also, for the vast majority of the world, this commodity is ultimately harder to find.
BTW, here health insurance even pays for a hooker for disabled people, should they be unable otherwise to find sex. Regularly. At it is a mental health issue. And there are even specially hired prostitutes of both sexes just for that. And if you're too poor, then state pays for insurance and still get the hookers. So not even poor, ugly, disabled and being tiny would stop you. Love though, probably chances converge to zero.
You are absurdly cynical about the non existence of love. Most of us don't have to pretend to be "poor enough" to find love, nor do we have the kind of funding to purchase sex "wherever and whenever" we feel like it. You talk like you're wealthy and handsome like Brad Pitt that you think of women as golddiggers because they're throwing themselves at you, and you're so fucking PRIVILEGED that you don't even believe that the vast majority of the rest of us don't live like you when we tell you.
Most of us have roughly the same number of sexual partners as we find people who love us, because that's how it works for ordinary men.
Most of us don't have to worry about random women "of course she'll have sex with me, but is she just after me for my looks or my money?"
We are not the same, and most people don't live like you at all. You're just wrong.
And yet again you talk about you and me, while I simply made a point about the rarity of two commoditites compared. It doesn't matter at all if I'm "brad Pitt" or not. It alters my personal abilities and won't change the point. And you still totally fail to grasp the point at all. Having the options to find sex "whenever and whereever" doesn't mean you get laid three times day. You COULD be laid. Or maybe not you because your country hates humans, but that is the exception in civilized worlds. Given enough money you probably also could, as laws are made for the poor.
Also I never ever said love is non-existant. It's just nowhere being easier to find than sex as there is no option to buy or otherwise squire it without the other person actually feeling the same. Two people feeling the same for each other is ultimately more rare then two people just finding each other attractive enough to fuck.
It's so simple. From love, sex will most likely always follow. From sex, love COULD follow.
You can dance around my or your personal ability likeever you want, it doesn't change the facts. Just because logical arguments don't fit into your personal experience, won't change them.
Try visiting some of our train stations. You'll have to actually fight off people offering you a blowjob for 5 bucks. Even broke as fuck you could afford that. If one would be inclined to exploit drug junkies.