this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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As a cishet white guy myself, I have to agree... to a point. Part of being an ally at this point in time really is a matter of just shutting the fuck up and listening. Allowing our presence alone to be our contribution and support. Allowing others to speak and lead. Not trying to correct people or broadcast our opinions. If folks want to hear us they'll ask. If they seem upset at you as a proxy for our demographic, don't get defensive. It's reasonable for marginalized groups to hate and fear us. Take it on the chin. Change and healing takes time, you can't expect to walk into these spaces and get VIP treatment. You'll have to earn that.
Yeah okay I'll shut up and listen, but I won't stand there and be treated like a punching bag, and if they expect to be able to talk shit to me and I'm not even allowed to stand up for myself, then those people aren't my friends, they're bullies. And I don't like bullies.
I have a history of trauma and abuse, I've been bullied and treated like shit. But nobody cares about my problems, in any context. I'm not gonna let people abuse me and treat me like shit out of some perceived sense of righteous indignation that they're projecting onto me because I'm an easier target than the people who actually abused them and treated them like shit. Fuck that.