this post was submitted on 28 May 2026
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He's not.
He's also not vegan, but that's another accusation his opposition is using. Because I guess there's nothing Texans hate more than (checks notes) ... tofu?
To them, it's supposed to be "emasculating" (a concept that only makes sense if you think being a man is a fragile state that is conditional on behaviour, and can be revoked by other people but not by the very individual).
They'd call him the F-word, but even MAGAs know you can't say that anymore.
All he would have to say is "I'm not. I just really fucking love beans" and a photo of him in a canned beans meme and all the young voters would vote for him.
He actually came out and said that as an 8th generation Texan, he LOVES Barbecue. He should do a campaign ad where he chows down on some sloppy ribs, and make those MAGAs wonder about what else their leaders are lying about.
I was already planning on voting for him, but if he did the "Baked Beans" sketch from WKUK, I'd have to vote for him even harder