this post was submitted on 25 May 2026
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Ok. Valid. However, once you turn into the pen, you’re a pen on a shelf next to a bag full of the stolen money, which I assume the bank employees, that were not traumatized by seeing you turn into a pen, will put back into their drawers. Pen probably confiscated, studied, disassembled.
Gotta rethink that one. Lots can go wrong.
Can't you just turn into a slime mold or bacteria to escape?
You're leaving the money behind. Defeating the whole purpose of robbing the bank!
Hmmmm good point.
What if you turn into a pelican and fly out with the money in your mouth?
They'll lock the doors and shoot you. Robbing a bank of tough work, whether shapeshifter or just dumb!
Oh I meant robbing it as a pelican! People would be too perplexed by that
Tellers are trained to not give any money to birds. They instruct the security guard to shoot them. Without opposable thumbs, you're gonna need compliant tellers.
Shapeshift as the manager, ask for passwords, keys, codes, stay late, clean the place out. Really the best option for this score.
But not as whacky as a pelican with hands that can talk, but yeah, your own sounds better