this post was submitted on 18 May 2026
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Showerthoughts

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A "Showerthought" is a simple term used to describe the thoughts that pop into your head while you're doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming. The most popular seem to be lighthearted clever little truths, hidden in daily life.

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I have a good group of friends and a reasonable sized family. I can't wrap my head around these weddings with 100-300 guests. Am I a loser or are they inviting mostly tertiary characters.

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[–] tyler@programming.dev 2 points 1 hour ago

You invite the people you want to be there. That applies to both you and your soon to be spouse. It also applies to your parents if they’re paying (and sometimes even if they’re not). It’s also a great excuse to see people that you haven’t seen for a long long time.

It’s also extremely normal to invite family.

Now double the number because most of those people will bring a plus one, and add 20% cause that’s children that will come (unless you say no to kids which is becoming more popular).

Great, now your list of 20-30 people is over a hundred.

Of course you can have smaller weddings, but you will have to explain a lot to a lot of people, including family.

————

To give an example, I invited my brother, my two sisters, my parents, and my grandparents to my wedding. I also invited some coworkers and friends, I think like 6-10 I can’t remember.

My wife had even fewer friends to invite. About the same size family. But her parents wanted to invite several people we had never ever met before.

We had 140 people. The numbers sound small up until the minute you start writing invites. Then you realize just how many people “have to come”.