me_irl

Data from surveys etcetera show us that a very large majority of women and people perceived as women do experience harassment, abuse and sexual abuse at least once in their lives and data also shows this often is common to women.

Tbf data also shows that most often women are familiar with their attackers, and most of the abusers are a small number of repeat offending men, and all violent crime (incl when women are the victims) has been falling steadily since 1993 and is actually at a low despite common perception (I blame media's hunger for ratings, the fucking ghouls they are, despite your dismissal of ClearChannel Communications role in shaping society's perceptions at large). Far from "be afraid to leave your house" levels.

Also worth noting, that quote covers everything from glancing at a woman's breasts when she doesn't like you, to wolf whistling, to Epstein throwing a murder victim down The Hatch. Yeah, I bet every woman has heard *wolf whistle* before, maybe even a full catcall or even lewd comment, and that is WRONG for sure but also isn't quite violently kidnapping them. It also covers domestic abuse and spousal rape, which are by far the most common (after the whistles and catcalls), but far from "every man outside will kidnap you ala Buffalo Bill."

And it also covers things like (real story): one time my (now)ex (at the time GF of ~1yr) came home drunk, woke me up, and started begging for sex (we'd been having issues in that department because she regularly refused to shower, and while that is her perogative, I then refused to have sex with her when/because she smelled so bad it took me out of the mood, but this time I relented, it had been a while and she wouldn't stop). The next morning, just trying to be nice I guess, I said "last night was great, have fun at the bar?" Well, idfk if she did to this day, because instead of answering she asked "what do you mean by that" incredulously, and when I told her "I mean the sex" she insisted that I had raped her and I'm a terrible person. Now, tbh, if you ask me (or anyone else were the genders reversed but in my state women can't legally be charged with it), her begging like that until I reluctantly gave in (despite me eventually consenting unenthusiastically) would have been considered the rape, but if you ask her I just committed one of the worst things a person could do for *checks notes* not continuing to refuse her smelly advances for hours while I just wanted to go back to sleep. If the Data™ you reference is self reported and they called my ex, guess which version they think is accurate.

*before you losers call me an incel, I hooked up with my clean FWB two days ago. I'm not an incel for not wanting to fuck a woman who verifiably hasn't showered in two weeks.

The point isn't that nonviolent harassment is ok, but simply that the vast majority of those often self reported numbers are going to be low-level non-violent harassment, not the violence so many seem to think lurks around every corner.

Also however, that said, women are the fastest growing group of gun owners in this country and (in a stand your ground state) you have the right to defend against the violent (not the nonviolent) attacks with deadly force as rape falls under "great bodily injury" and the size differential will be an extenuating circumstance as to why you needed to respond with deadly force. "We shouldn't have to" and neither should I to stop that guy who pulled a knife on me in 2020, but we do have to protect ourselves sometimes and it helps to be able to. If you're that worried about it do what men have done for years and women are doing in record numbers, learn your local laws on use of force and carry yourself some protection. Even mace is better than "please."