this post was submitted on 14 May 2026
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Or maybe it's just cultural differences with a pinch of autism. TBH I'm not quite clear on how "Dutch" the guy in OP's story is or where this even takes place, but AFAIK this would be completely normal behavior among friends and acquaintances in the Netherlands.
As a Dutch person , I have heard of behaviour like this before, but I wouldn't consider it normal. Most dutch people would consider this asshole behavior. If you offer something, either you name a price up front or you don't get anything for it.
Is asking for money for coffee in your home not considered assholish prima fascia in the Netherlands?
Here in the US within the bounds of the home food and drink that is offered is expected to be a gift, and if you charge for anything it's admission to a party or you pass a hat around for people to pay what they can. Typically though it's either basic hospitality for small things or you should give in kind (bring a dish or some alcohol to share) for parties.
It is. I'd be very weirded out of anyone wanted money for a drink at their house, but not as angry as when they would send a payment request afterward.
Question for you (completely off topic from your conversation with the other person). How believable is this story without broodje hagelslag being served? I need to know how accurate my Dutch lessons are.
LOL, hagelslag is just something to put on your bread like peanut butter or cheese. Some like it, some don't, but I wouldn't offer a coworker breakfast if they were to pick me up for work.
On-topic; this story is the kind of thing you hear about, but never experience. It's something that could almost happen, but you'd have to be a cheap skate by Dutch standards to actually do this.
Ik heb geen hagelslag in huis. Wel koffie. Ik zou een collega wel koffie aanbieden, maar geen Tikkie sturen.
Dankjewel, ook geen koekjes?
Als ik ze heb bied ik ze wel aan, maar koekjes overleven in ons huis nooit heel lang
Sowieso geen stroopwafel.