this post was submitted on 06 May 2026
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Hello I’m a software engineer for this knife! Kitchenaid’s newest model, the Ultrasonic Edge™! It is forged with self-healing nano-steel from Japan, the blade can automatically correct small edge imperfections over time, keeping it razor sharp longer than a traditional knife. The button on the handle cycles through several prep modes to assist in slicing and dicing. My favorite is heated mode which heats the blade to 28 C to assist in slicing frozen meats and vegetables. The knife occasionally receives software updates through its charging block, adding new cutting profiles and improving its internal motion sensors that track hand positioning and cutting rhythm. Tiny embedded LEDs along the spine glow softly to indicate blade temperature, battery life, or sanitation status after UV self-cleaning cycles. If you don’t have access to internet we can send you a usb device to install the software updates remotely. If you have any questions feel free to ask!
God, I hope this is satire.
Satire is wasted on Lemmy.
That's literally what an advert would be like for something like this. It's near impossible to tell anymore what is satire and what is not.
It's almost exactly what an advert for something like this would read like, and that's why it's actually good satire.
Ain't that the truth.
my questions:
Isn't this the Seattle Ultrasonics C-200? Is it related to KitchenAid in any way?