this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 66 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Former military member here. There are a couple things at play here.

1.) The military will outline a specific requirement for specific equipment that contractors need to meet. Requirements depend on the mission, usage, tools required, etc. so "military grade" just means "we needed a specific product to perform a specific way." This does not mean it's good for any use. Just that it's what we needed in the moment for a specific job.

2.) We are required to buy from the lowest bidder. We ask contractors to build products for us that meet the specific requirements we outlined, then compare/contrast prices. Every contractor that built our product are in the running to become our supplier for that product... if they can beat every other contractor in price.

So how does a contractor win a government contract while still making money on the product they're selling? By cutting corners, using cheaper materials, and ensuring the product will last just long enough to meet our requirements before breaking. The cheaper they can build it, the more money they make while also selling cheaper than all their competitors.

So "military grade" just means it's a cheap piece of crap that met some arbitrary request the military made for a specific tool at one time. If you want quality products, avoid military grade.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

A joke my mum (ex-military) used to make was "There's 3 ways to get things done: The right way, the wrong way, and the military way"

(For people who don't get it, the joke is that the military often does stuff in a dumbass way not because they tried to do things the right way and got it wrong, but because they value consistency and predictability much more than doing something right vs. wrong. I suppose there's probably a logic to it on the big, zoomed out view of things, but when you're just a grunt, the way the military works can often seem nonsensical)

[–] cobysev@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

The military is definitely all about following regulations and protocol, even if they don't make sense.

[...] the military often does stuff in a dumbass way

I was in the Air Force when I served, but I deployed with some Marines once. Their motto, which they repeated all the time, was, "If it's stupid, but works... it wasn't stupid."

They used this as an excuse to try very dumb ways to problem solve everything. And it led to very creative ways to do things; some of which actually worked.

But myself and a couple other Air Force folks got a kick out of watching the Marines figuratively smash rocks together, hoping to ignite a fire.

My favorite quote from that deployment came from one of the young Corporals in my office. He had just returned from a week-long forward mission and got stuck in an airport for 24 hours before his connecting flight.

He said, "I was so bored, I actually read a book from cover to cover! I don't think I've ever read an entire book in my life!"

I expected that to be a joke, but instead of laughing, the rest of the Marines just solemnly nodded along. Wow.