this post was submitted on 05 May 2026
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[โ€“] ChexMax@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago (1 children)

This is a double edged sword. You shouldn't put a ton of effort into your dating self if you're not prepared to keep that up for the rest of your life, otherwise you're just screwing your spouse. I'm so so glad I put very little effort into masking/ lying about who I am when I dated my spouse. I was just honest. I hate cooking. I'm hard to get ahold of/ don't answer messages quickly. I don't want to own a dog. Now that we're 7 years in, I don't have to let him down by saying a dog is too much housekeeping for me. I told him that on date 2. He on the other hand definitely presented his best foot, which was disappointing 5 years in when he could no longer keep it up. He's messy, he apparently really wants a dog, and he also hates cooking, none of which i knew until long after we married.

Yes, absolutely.

The mature thing is to recognise that you don't want to live in a dirty home and smell bad ... and to realise that means you need to put in half the effort needed to accomplish that (assuming a partnership of two people under one roof)