this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2026
102 points (94.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

39306 readers
1338 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

One of my children is questioning their gender, and they seem at ease with non-binary. I found this out yesterday, so I'm approaching this gently, though I feel ill-prepared. I want to be who they need.

I'm curious about the experiences of other parents, or stories about your parents learning to adjust if you came out to them.

Follow-up: Thank you all so much for your stories and your feedback!

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Not at all. Im bisexual myself and have a gay nonbinary partner. Botz also very neruodivergent. Soooo it wouldnt be any change for us lol

But if you're looking for advice, dont do like my parents and do not aknowledge it at all. I did "silent outing" as in i just dropped hints here and there. And dont assume they are gay and then say "i know you're gay" while in a fighting argument with them. Ask them or even better just say "no matter who you're attracted to, we will always love you and be there for you".

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 3 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

The way I always saw it was "ok? If we are shifting names or pronouns, just let me know. If you need ideas I've got a few you can reject but other than that, it changes literally nothing. You are still you and if this makes you happy that's all I can ask for." At least that's what I generally mean. Usually I'll just say ok and ask if they're hungry or something

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

Sadly not all parents are like that :(

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 1 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

The world would be a better place if they were

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Though funny enought without both our parents being bad, me and my partner wouldnt have met nore bonded :)

[–] DokPsy@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Love through trauma bond is a tale as old as time