this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2026
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[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 33 points 4 days ago (2 children)

I want my corpse to be a truly amazing encounter.

That's why I plan to string myself up like marionette. My body will be ridged to drop when the bathroom door is opened. Than I will wiggle a preprogrammed dance well strobe lights and heavy techno music plays.

You might ask "how my bones will stay together?" Well that's where the embalming machine comes in to be activated as soon as my pulse flat lines. Perfectly preserved bathroom corpse surprise.

[–] geomela@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

My body will be ridged

For her pleasure?

Edit: I thought it looked weird, just realised it's 'ribbed'. I'm not sure what a 'ridged' condom would be like, probably not great.

[–] FauxLiving@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

I’m not sure what a ‘ridged’ condom would be like, probably not great.

Remove cap before use.

[–] notabot@piefed.social 22 points 4 days ago

Perfectly preserved bathroom corpse surprise

That's my new band name sorted.