this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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First part: mansplaing and helping are often hard to tell apart. Especially if you get mansplained all the time. In this case I am sure you are in the right.
Second part: we didn't choose to have a penis but we are part of the patriarchy problem. We were socialized with privileges and those let us behave in a way that keeps said patriarchy working. Feminism for me is about figuring out what helps to level the playing field and what doesn't. I am wrong a lot.
Being an ally is sometimes confused with "I am not doing anything wrong" like not being sexist. That is not enough anymore. We need to speak up when somebody else uses behaves in a sexist way. We need to actively change things because we are the patriarchy and by being part of that are helping to keep the status quo just by existing as a male in the society and passively enjoying the privileges that come with that.
One of the problems with "Hello, I'm from the internet and I have a story where I was definitely right and the other person was the asshole" is that you're getting a very one-sided narrative without any historical context.
Just-So rants are a dime a dozen around here. "Why am I the victim, just because I'm a guy?" has - in my experience - been a big fucking red-flag.
Sadly true ...
The difference between mansplaining and helping is all about the level of condescension attached to your "help". If you are genuinely trying to relay information that you feel may help someone...you're good. If you're talking down to someone that you feel would already have this information, if only they had been born with a penis...you're being a misogynistic asshole.
Then why call it man splaining? Misogynsplaining is better word than that sexist shit you call it
I agree.
Out of interest and looking at the downvotes: did I not communicate well? Is my position precieved as pro patriarchy?
Not as far as I could tell. I was just adding my two cents to your two cents. It wasn't meant as criticism, just embellishment. I have no idea why you're getting any downvotes. The internet is a weird place sometimes.
Thanks for your response
It took me about 40 years to finally realise how much privilege has been bestowed upon me. It's a very strange thing to view personal historical events through this lens. I don't regret anything, the opposite in fact, it's a source personal development.