this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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Though it can be used during the initial parts of a relationship to make it progress at a very fast rate. Imo it's best to hit the brakes even if the other person isn't abusive. And hit the brakes as in don't rush to move in with them, get married, or have a kid, as I think ending a relationship because it's moving too fast is just as likely to end a good thing as avoid abuse.
IMO detecting abusive people is best done by seeing how they react when challenged, especially by someone they might consider a lesser.
With someone coming on too strong too fast you need to keep your eyes open and be aware of your boundaries. It may be someone who's awesome and sincere who's just on a different pace than you, it may be an intentional abuser being machiavellian, but it's also got a pretty good chance of being someone unstable and sincere and oh fucking boy will that cause problems if you don't have and maintain boundaries.