this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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I feel like everyone here needs a reminder that love bombing is something that happens AFTER mistreatment to make the victim calm down and become compliant.
This isn't just being overly affectionate, it's a technique used to manipulate behavior and keep a victim loyal.
I thought it was a thing used at the beginning to get people to join cults.
lovebombing used to describe cult behavior where a large group would shower praise and validation on a prospective member as a recruitment tactic. it's no surprise that there's confusion about what it means when it's used to describe a wide variety of behaviors that are superficially connected.
Though it can be used during the initial parts of a relationship to make it progress at a very fast rate. Imo it's best to hit the brakes even if the other person isn't abusive. And hit the brakes as in don't rush to move in with them, get married, or have a kid, as I think ending a relationship because it's moving too fast is just as likely to end a good thing as avoid abuse.
IMO detecting abusive people is best done by seeing how they react when challenged, especially by someone they might consider a lesser.
With someone coming on too strong too fast you need to keep your eyes open and be aware of your boundaries. It may be someone who's awesome and sincere who's just on a different pace than you, it may be an intentional abuser being machiavellian, but it's also got a pretty good chance of being someone unstable and sincere and oh fucking boy will that cause problems if you don't have and maintain boundaries.
Also, despite the name, the relationship does NOT need to be romantic for this to apply. Literally anyone in your life can be a abuser with tactics like this. Usually, sadly, it's someone with some authority or ability to screw up your life. For example, like a workplace manager or a family member.