I can't tell if I'm les or bi. I mean, I feel like I've liked men a lot especially when I was younger, yet lately with all the bad experiences with men and some of them being overly sexual towards me, I can't see myself dating one.
While I do see the beauty of men, I don't know if I'd ever date a man, and mostly I don't find myself attracted towards men. The people I find myself attracted to, even before I know their gender, are always nonbinary masc when they "look masculine", never people who identify as men.
I constantly switch between "maybe I like men" and "I probably don't", which could be me being bi and going through the "bi-cycle", but I also feel like my feeling like I "needed" a man in the past was due to heteronormativity and comphet and every woman around me being bi or straight and preferring men.
I noticed I could never relate to my straight friend who used to bully me, not because she bullied me, but because she would gush over dudes and would hate it when I gushed over women. She also found girls kissing gross but IDK if she still does, we were like 13 when this happened.
Anyway, I could never relate and always wanted to talk about girls and didn't really see men through "rose-coloured glasses" like a lot of girls my age did.
No one can decide this for me, but I need some help...
Maybe late here, but here I go: First, being capable of understanding beauty of people being from a certain gender is very different of being attracted to them, and you seem to have noticed that. Second, have you heard about fembutch relationships and history? Do you know what “butch” means? There’s a whole history of lesbians exclusively attracted into masculine women and non-binary people. This group exists with its own culture and History. I can’t stress you enough to learn about those terms and this culture, I’m sure you’ll love it.
So, not only you’re valid as a lesbian, but you’re taking part of a huge lesbian history. Congrats ! :)