ALT Text: Scene is WAITROSE. Behind it is a staff member, whose name we will soon learn is BECKY. She is dealing with a customer, for now out of shot, while talking to her manager on the phone.
BECKY [on phone]: Yeah, hiya...
2 BECKY: Yes I have a customer here who wants to complain about the Easter eggs.
3 BECKY [putting hand over receiver while addressing the customer stood at the desk in front of her]: Sorry what was your name again?
4 [Pull back to show the customer is a very tall, green-skinned, PAGAN GODDESS, festooned with flowers. Stood next to her is her son, a normal human teenager in a hoodie, who looks mortified by his mum.]
PAGAN GODDESS: Eostre the Pagan Goddess of Fertility
5 BECKY Sorry - Your name is Easter…?
PAGAN GODDESS: Eostre.
6
[Vicky pauses, trying to take this in].
VICKY: Your name is Easter and you want to complain about the Easter eggs.
7 PAGAN GODDESS: Sorry love, what’s your name?
BECKY: Becky
PAGAN GODDESS: Well, Vicky -
8 PAGAN GODDESS: If it was you who’d shagged the solar god of the Equinox to give birth to an actual living god - my son Darren here -
TEENAGE BOY: Muuum…
9 PAGAN GODDESS: ….only to have all your efforts totally forgotten by history, you’d have a complaint too!
10 PAGAN GODDESS: Aisle four is full of products, with no hint of the true meaning of the festival!
11 BECKY: You mean… Jesus…?
PAGAN GODDESS: I mean shagging, Vicky.
12 PAGAN GODDESS: Is it too much to see just a little bit of pre-Christian sex in Aisle 4?
Was eoster really worshipped? I thought they were just made up.
Fun Fact: They're all made up.
🤣.
This will sound insensitive but I look at the Bible like I look at Harry Potter or Lord of the rings.
Be careful saying things like that, you might summon the wrath of the zealots upon yourself. Lord of the Rings fans are not to be messed with.
That's fair. I mean lord of the rings is a fictional novel, is all I was getting at.
just way more thought put into character development and continuity and overall a much better read
That is really insensitive, how could you say that about LOTR?
Sorry 😔
The Bible is more like of you took HP, LotR, and 20 other series and mashed them together.
the bible has multiple books of fanfic
The mormon dlc is all fan service
Its all fictive.
I remember on old email lists you used to get "digests" of a day's worth of emails all in one. That's what the Bible is.
Nah. The bible is more like Robin Hood or Asterix.
There's some evidence Eostre (or Ostara, Austra, definitely Aušrinė in Lithuania) was worshipped, but the evidence is scant and mostly based on linguistic reconstruction by Grimm in the 19th century. There is evidence of votive offerings to the "Austriahenae" (a collection of matron goddesses) discovered in 1958, but little else.
There have been more discoveries since Grimm boys, and despite earlier scepticism scholars are now mostly accepting that there was an Eostre diety worshipped in Europe around the Spring Equinox.
New findings and archeo-lingustics have supported Grimms and Bede, so the existence (culturally) and worship of Oestra (or however your 1000BC Celto-Germanic language spelt it) is now generally accepted by scholars (and anyone who isn't pushing an anti-intellectual, and often antisemitic, "war on Christianity" agenda).
No, people are just anti Christianity circle jerking because it's a religious holiday