Star Trek Social Club

It's that they are treating it as something weird. Uhura's race and sex weren't treated as weird because why would it be? There wasn't anything especially special about Geordi being a blind helmsman when TNG premiered, because making accommodations wasn't anything special - it was normal.

What Discovery did was performative inclusivity, which is a more subtle form of bigotry. It's pointing at someone and calling them weird and claiming moral superiority for tolerating their presence.

Pretty much. And maybe in the off-screen bragging about it, at least say first main character or first crew member (someone argued about Dax, but I'd say that character was gendered, just fluid over the long term), not 'first character ever', since you had a number of instances, and pretty much dead-on a whole species dedicated to exploring gendered versus non-binary in TNG. That's one habit of Discovery was leaving people wondering if they even watched the shows that preceeded them...

There should have been no good reason for Adira to only tell Gray despite their clear desire to be recognized as non-binary.

Or, alternatively, they could have established that 32nd century Earth cut off from the federation had backslid to MAGA-sensibilities to explain why far future human feels the need to tiptoe around their identity until they come to terms with the culture of the federation that might have been lost to Earth.