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The main issue here is that you're basing your theology on how you feel, not on God's divinely inspired Word -
Romans 1:18-23
God reveals Himself to those who'll truly believe.
And the precepts of everyone's heart is sin- and the punishment for sin is death. It's sin in general that condemns you to Hell, Jesus is there to save you from it.
On a personal note- I've had the same struggles and thoughts you have. I have grappled with knowing many I love won't be saved. There are different theologies on hell- personally I believe it ranges from just separation from Heaven to actual torment depending on if those people were extremely evil or just nominally evil. Jesus speaks about different degrees of punishment, and illustrations of both darkness and fire are used. The way the Bible talks about other religions isn't the same way you talk about them- Islam is barely a branch of Judaism or Christianity. Instead, it's a faith based on a paedophile self-proclaimed prophet who was also a military leader and used his prophethood to marry nine women (against God's law of only having one wife) one of which being a six year old child. Mormons follow a similar prophet. The Religious Jews that exist today are the ones who rejected Jesus' message, like the ones in the old testament. Sure, both groups aren't doomed per say as anytime they can be reached out to with the Gospel and many have been accepted. But Jesus did put a large emphasis on evangelism, His last command being
Matthew 28:19-20
So Jesus actively wants us to evangelise- evangelism is in fact the loving thing. If someone is wrong about something so critical, it is in fact hateful to not alert them to their wrongdoing because it is leading them away from salvation. Do you really want to be ascending when Christ comes back into heaven, and seeing your Muslim, Hindu and Atheist friends left behind? Will you say to them "sorry, I didn't want to be hateful and force my religion on you?"
God is not a vengeful rules lawyer who's looking for any excuse he possibly can find to punish every single human being that doesn't do everything exactly the way a book written 2,000 years ago says it should have been done.
I have been through all of your objections in my own personal walk, and I'm making the choices that feel the most divinely inspired to me.
The greatest rule is love, and against love there is no law. And if I choose to love my neighbor and accept them the way they are, and my faith says that it is okay for them to be who they are, God's not going to punish them for being the person who he made them to be based off of their life experiences, then I'm going to stick with that regardless of what a book says.
Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.