this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
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FEMA disaster chief claims he is able to teleport and 'landed in a ditch' (www.themirror.com)
submitted 19 hours ago by Krauerking@lemy.lol to c/nottheonion@lemmy.world
55 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

Of course it was a waffle house he "teleported" to. Seems you never end up at one by choice.

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[–] atzanteol@sh.itjust.works 103 points 19 hours ago (4 children)

Previously, he oddly claimed that he involuntarily teleported to a Waffle House in Georgia that was 50 miles away.

Umn.. Aren't blackouts like that typically a sign of alcoholism or other substance abuse?

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 38 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Carbon monoxide leaks

[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

But this handwriting doesn’t look like mine at all

[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 hours ago

We need to talk but he won’t let us.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 5 points 15 hours ago

Sure that or quantum mastery, your view skews pessimistic.

[–] wesdym@mastodon.social 7 points 18 hours ago

@atzanteol Yeah, I don't think it's all that uncommon for bearded old guys in the South to find themselves at WH unexpectedly.