Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Regret might be rare, but rare doesn't mean non-existant. You're the second person on here that has mentioned it. It's a small com, and I haven't been a member for that long. In fact I'd say that bottom surgery regret is far more common than most other parts of transition.
There's a toxic idea going round that bottom surgery is just a part of transition. The medical system where I live won't consider me "trans enough" to get any type of treatment including hormones because I have expressed a desire to keep my equipment. And even within the larger trans community people are extremely vocal about wanting to get rid of their twig and berries, but you don't hear much from people who want to keep them. It can be very one sided.
In terms of coping with the results of your surgery you have two options. To learn to live with it (therapy etc) or to seek out a phaloplasty. I don't know much about it, but I've heard that it can be done. I know there was another girl here who was looking into the latter option (I think she was from Argentina). I'm not sure if she found anything but I'm sure the post is still up if you want to look it up.
It's not the same as therapy, but if you need to vent I'm happy to listen. I recently had a circumcision for medical reasons and the urologist botched it. So the entire underside of my penis is covered in hairy scrotum and feels horrendous and makes my partner bleed when we have sex. While it isn't the same as a vaginoplasty, I still mourne the loss of propper feeling and function.
I didn't see the original comment, and now I'm curious.