this post was submitted on 16 Mar 2026
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I had bottom surgery almost a year ago and I regret it so much. I didn't say anything up to now I kept getting told that feelings of doubt and uncertainty will get better as it heals, well it's healed for over a month and it hasn't gone away. It's gotten worse! I feel like I'm broken, like part of me is missing. I wish I didn't fucking do this shit. I miss my dick and balls so much.

Don't tell me that I don't regret it and that regret is rare. This isn't the first time I spoke up. I said this shit on Reddit and the dipshits who run r/trans banned me telling me that regret is rare and that I probably don't regret it, and that the chance of me being not trans is tiny. I explained to those dumb fucks that I 100% am trans, am a woman and that I miss my dick and balls and they got me suspended for 3 days and muted me.

I absolutely regret it and I absolutely am a woman. Some days (currently now) I think about killing myself because I know I'll never be whole again. I just want to get in my car and drive off a gate bridge, and that would be it.

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[โ€“] Berengaria_of_Navarre@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Regret might be rare, but rare doesn't mean non-existant. You're the second person on here that has mentioned it. It's a small com, and I haven't been a member for that long. In fact I'd say that bottom surgery regret is far more common than most other parts of transition.

There's a toxic idea going round that bottom surgery is just a part of transition. The medical system where I live won't consider me "trans enough" to get any type of treatment including hormones because I have expressed a desire to keep my equipment. And even within the larger trans community people are extremely vocal about wanting to get rid of their twig and berries, but you don't hear much from people who want to keep them. It can be very one sided.

In terms of coping with the results of your surgery you have two options. To learn to live with it (therapy etc) or to seek out a phaloplasty. I don't know much about it, but I've heard that it can be done. I know there was another girl here who was looking into the latter option (I think she was from Argentina). I'm not sure if she found anything but I'm sure the post is still up if you want to look it up.

It's not the same as therapy, but if you need to vent I'm happy to listen. I recently had a circumcision for medical reasons and the urologist botched it. So the entire underside of my penis is covered in hairy scrotum and feels horrendous and makes my partner bleed when we have sex. While it isn't the same as a vaginoplasty, I still mourne the loss of propper feeling and function.