Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

founded 2 years ago

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LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone

ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone

ada@piefed.blahaj.zone

[CW: Mentions Suicide, Surgery regret] How to get over regret about bottom surgery without killing myself? (programming.dev)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by MarthaPuppyGirl@programming.dev to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone

NSFW 27 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I had bottom surgery almost a year ago and I regret it so much. I didn't say anything up to now I kept getting told that feelings of doubt and uncertainty will get better as it heals, well it's healed for over a month and it hasn't gone away. It's gotten worse! I feel like I'm broken, like part of me is missing. I wish I didn't fucking do this shit. I miss my dick and balls so much.

Don't tell me that I don't regret it and that regret is rare. This isn't the first time I spoke up. I said this shit on Reddit and the dipshits who run r/trans banned me telling me that regret is rare and that I probably don't regret it, and that the chance of me being not trans is tiny. I explained to those dumb fucks that I 100% am trans, am a woman and that I miss my dick and balls and they got me suspended for 3 days and muted me.

I absolutely regret it and I absolutely am a woman. Some days (currently now) I think about killing myself because I know I'll never be whole again. I just want to get in my car and drive off a gate bridge, and that would be it.

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[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Your regret is valid and understandable. We all make choices in life that we can come to regret. I am very sorry that you find yourself in the unfortunate situation of wishing you could undo something that cannot be undone.

You are welcome to discuss this here but some of the language you use is extremely triggering and highly correlated with bigoted narratives about bottom surgery. Such as describing yourself as broken, describing your genitalia as rotting, etc. I normally allow a certain amount of this but frankly this thread was very intense and even just reading through it all to understand what was going on was quite hard. Some content warnings and perhaps a bit of consideration for other users would go a long way.

I'm sorry you've had bad experiences in other communities treating you like your regret isn't real. Your suffering is real and you have every right to talk about it here with others. A lot of gatekeeping has gone on in this thread and I am working through it now to address it.

If anyone finds their comment has been removed by me I would encourage you to read the rules and understand that this is an inclusive community of all transfeminine people. Even if you suspect that someone is lying or misrepresenting themselves or their experiences, it is still not permissible to interrogate them in such a manner. You can always DM me or Ada if you suspect someone of showing up to cause trouble. But creating public threads to speculate on whether someone is a troll or not is just categorically unacceptable here. We have few reliable ways of emperically verifying those things out in the open. So its pointless and just promotes a hostile atmosphere of interrogation and gatekeeping.

I'm going to leave this thread locked for a bit while things die down.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

I just wanted to add that for people who think OP is a troll, pls just block her and move on.

It is completely understandable to me that you want to protect the community from someone you are certain is a troll, but this just feeds the troll and stirs up drama - the best response to a troll is blocking and not engaging. Let the admins and mods handle the troll, you don't have to.