this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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Hint all you want, the decent among us will still be terrified of looking creepy. Just tell us!
What most women don't get is that men like assertive women.
Some men don't. Just like some women don't like assertive men.
People generally, like other assertive people who are clear about what they want. I don't have any issue with a woman giving me a clear rejection. But I really hate the fake 'rejections' they give me most of the time that leave the door open or the bullshit double-standard where they reject me and then expect me to 'try harder' to win them over because 'men need to chase me'. or whatever horse pucky they believe.
The bear thing scared a lot of decent guys off.
edit: And just to be clear, should anyone think i'm alpha male-ing. If every woman out there is scared to death of the average guy, who am I to further that? I have a wife, I have kids, I simply do not start conversations with women because when that chose the bear thing happened, not one woman I know didn't resonate with that. Who am I to try to push past that?
Man, I feel this one. That put me off any interactions with women that I can avoid. I'm in a relationship, I have no need or interest in creating a situation because someone takes something the wrong way.
Precisely why I walk the other direction when kids try to talk to me. I'm polite and friendly as long as it takes to get away.
...leaving women with getting approached to an even greater degree by men who don't get that. Thus confirming their bias and continuing the spiral.
At this point, I know of no-one who has any idea how to walk back the great and widening chasm between genders. It's heartbreaking.
Not saying I agree with the bear thing, but understand there’s statistics at play here. Whether it’s a bear or a man, it’s not to imply all men or all bears will attack you. It’s relative likelihood. And whether I think women who chose the bear got the risk assessment correct or not, as a non-rapist, I’m not really offended by the idea that some subset of men has made women extra cautious.
I'm certainly not offended. I just don't wish to cause undue stress when women obviously feel distressed about random men.