Ask Lemmy

In my experience, people who live with people who use information for abuse learn to protect information as a first course of action, because it's hard to predict what information might be dangerous to share. In extreme cases, the only safe opinion to express is that of whoever's in charge. It can be hard to tell what information can be safely expressed, which I think can make people quick to flatter or agree if they don't feel safe. It may be that you feel safe to express thoughts about the boss to their face, but they didn't. It's a cultural divide I've seen both sides of. I've worked with people who clearly did not feel comfortable criticizing me even after I encouraged honesty, because they had had bosses before who had said the same thing and abused the privilege of trust. I have also worked with people I did not trust with certain information and I withheld it, even after discussing the matter with peers. I think the things said in confidence can sometimes be harmful and deserve to be rebutted the same as when they're said in public, but the existence of those things doesn't make confidential conversation per se bad.