Transfem

Hii,

I am a freshly cracked mtf egg.

TLDR at end

My parents are raging transphobes. Like the level of crazy where both are anti vax, one is flat earther, and I've had arguments with them where they claim that there are a lot of people out there who identify as a helicopter and people who identify as something they weren't born as should be in mental asylums.

My youngest sibling won't be an adult until 15 months from now and still lives in their house. I don't know what my parents will do once I'm out, but I doubt it will be supportive and I'm sure it would ruin my sibling's life. They're immigrants who hold citizenship in another country, so leaving the US ("which infected me with the woke mind virus") with my youngest sibling is quite possible. Which is why I want to pass in boymode until they graduate high school (may 2026) and can get out.

My question is, when do I start HRT and at what dose? Do I start low dose at x months before I want to be out? Do I start regular dose y months before I want to be out? I plan to move to a blue State in a few months, so I would be living in a different State for the last few months before my youngest sibling gets out. So I can make excuses and not go home and just need to pass over video call after about feb 2026.

omg, that was so so long. Feel like I had to get some of that off my chest. Thanks for reading!!!

Additional info to consider:

• My weight is about 25% of the way from the lowest normal BMI to the highest normal BMI.
• My natural voice is already androngenous and I've been called m'am on the phone many times, so any vocal changes will likely fly under the radar.
• My hair is receding, idk if starting a low dose earlier instead of an avg dose later would help me keep more of it?
• I would be 23 for most of 2025. I heard the body can keep developing until 25, so does that mean I need to start earlier to make more of that last stage of development go in a fem way instead of a masc way? Or does it not really make a difference?

TLDR: trying to pass in person for ~12 more months and pass over video call for ~18. Heard something (maybe myth?) that it would be better to start earlier since I'm still in my low 20s. When do I start and low dose or normal dose?

It's been a bit over a year since I last shared my transition progress on here so I thought I want to update you all.

Here is my last post: https://phtn.app/post/lemmy.dbzer0.com/7781431

Forgot to add:

• first pic is 0 laser sessions
• second pic is 6 laser sessions
• third pic is 9 laser sessions

(This is a throwaway alt for my main lemmy account because I don't want to doxx myself. I'm an ally, and my daughter is transfem, but I understand I am not. If I need to remove this post, please let me know.)

Hey all

Early this year I came out as enby. The day I came out, I decided to do something with my mid-back length long hair to feel more femme. As I combed it and actually looked in the mirror for the first time in years, I saw I had thinning hair, looked with an additional mirror/my phone, and sadly came to the realization I had the first few steps of male pattern baldness. I can still 'hide' it by combing my hair back, using a small-tooth comb, etc, but soon I won't be able to hide it.

To my surprise this caused me a massive amount of dysphoria, and I realised that I had only ever been 'clocked' as feminine due to my hair, so I had made the connection between the two. I can't use the hair foams because they are toxic to cats and I would rather die than hurt my cat. I tend to react negatively to a fair number of medicines so the pill options are pretty scary, particularly with 'permanent E.D.' being out there. My doctor said I was a good candidate for microneedling/hair transplants, but those are far, far too expensive for me.

My male friends just told me to buzz it off and be done with it. My female/enby friends told me to keep it long for now and go back to my hairdresser when it becomes harder to hide.

I wanted to reach out to my transfem sisters and siblings to see:

Do if any of you had any advice for someone who feels at least part feminine, but doesn't know what to do to be more femme when shaved headed, or like when to shave their head, etc? Should I just work on my makeup/earring/accessory skills?

Thank you so much <3

Forgot to say I am from Canada if that helps any.

i started hrt through planned parenthood almost 3 months ago, i feel like it was one of the best decisions i ever made, i feel so much more like myself. although it can sometimes be a lot harder, i am much happier overall, and now look forward to life and the changes i can make, and astonished at how much i have already changed.

i didnt really feel safe relying on using planned parenthood for getting my hrt, and i had already explored the option of getting it from my doctor, but they wont even give me an appointment for 6 months, so who knows how long that will take. i ended up going for injections, rather than oral or transdermal methods, given it being much cheaper. i ordered from a seller i found through some recommendations of friends, lots of stock issues, cant imagine why lol. the hardest part was getting the crypto, my payment methods just did not want to work for some reason. after i purchased some, i made an order, and waited for it to arrive. shipping took about two weeks, but i bought from an international seller.

i went to a friends house, they are also trans and have done injections on themselves many times, so they walked me through the process. i had seen people inject all sorts of things, so i was familiar with it, but i just wanted somebody experienced there. im glad i did, because i just couldnt do it, it just feels wrong to stab myself, i just was building it up in my head a whole lot. i asked them to do it for me, it was very simple and over quick. i think that now i have experienced it, i know what to expect, i will have a much easier time doing it to myself.

im happy i took this step, knowing i can do this has helped ease my anxiety quite a bit. im also glad to get off the spiro and start monotherapy. now all i need is some more cute outfits (and things that are considerably less exciting than cute outfits, but nonetheless important) and ill be ready to tackle the world.

Um. So. I've been wearing a lot of tight sweaters recently and starting to show a bit too much nipple, so I bought some bras. Why just now? I guess I felt I didn't really "deserve" one, or I'd be "dressing up", or something, and wanted to wait for a good reason. Or two :3

Anyway, it's super comfortable, the padding really helps with sensitivity, and I looove what it does for my silhouette. BUT. I've been dressing somewhat androgynous up till now to give my hair / face time to catch up, and to me at least this is a big step into "this person is obviously dressing fem (wearing a bra)" territory. Which is kind of scary.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking here, sorry. I like presenting fem; I want to be perceived as fem; but I guess I'm kind of scared I look like a man in drag? Is anybody actually going to notice?

I haven't posted in a bit but I'm now over a year in. Just started injections a month ago, on progesterone since month 6 and been taking spiro of course.

Closed out my social media accounts while I prepare for some pretty major life changes, but I wanted to share my progress again since I haven't for a while. Life has been hard, but I'm happy.

Be strong, friends.

I have recently become involved in the "Trans Housing Network" which was started by [email protected]. I am in the midst of restructuring this into a broader "Trans Solidarity Network", a network of mutual aid communities across the United States. Due in large part to a rapidly evolving political situation in the US trans people are going to have to rely more and more on community to provide aid to them. The government of the US cannot be trusted to provide that aid. Trans people in deep red states may need to escape from them, many of whom do not have the resources to do so on their own. Trans people arriving in blue states will need help finding their feet and accessing care in their communities.

In that vein I am interested in building communities of trans people in localities across the US. You do not have to have anything to be a part of a mutual aid organization. Mutual aid means the community coming together and providing for each other. It means support networks without hierarchy, where your action has a direct impact on the lives of others.

Those with means are important here. Cisgender people can also be part of our mutual aid communities. We need people with a spare room, people with cars, people who can invest a few hours of their week checking in on their community members and giving food and emotional support to those that need it. Don't bother if you're close-minded or you're not open to being corrected on transphobic behavior. We are creating these networks to liberate trans people and protect them from violence. It goes without saying that transphobic people are not welcome, and that a level of scrutiny will be applied to new comers.

This whole thing is an entirely new project that I have been working on since the results of the election were declared. I am following principles of mutual organization and assistance. This is not a charity organization by any means. It is a way for trans people and allies to come together in light of extraordinary circumstances and help each other to be safe and healthy and secure.

The plan I have is (eventually) for communities to be relatively cut off from each other, and to be based around region. Right now in our earliest stages people from all over will be brought together, and as numbers grow will be divided into smaller regional groups. Keeping people geographically close to each other in touch and building networks of communication that extend longer distances. Financial contributions would be person to person, not person to entity to person. If you have money and want to contribute the best way to do so is by joining yourself and becoming a part of this network. I do not have interest in making a formal non-profit or charity organization. This is about private individuals helping each other when the government will not help us (or actively tries to harm us). I am looking for ways that international aid can be provided as well. If you live outside the US you can join the broader mutual aid network but what we need most of all is those who can provide direct assistance.

I am also looking for people who have experience with mutual aid, people who have experience with self-hosted technology, and people who are connected with groups on other social media to promote and spread word about this solidarity network. We need diverse skillsets to provide support to those who need it. Nothing is categorically unhelpful in a mutual aid group.

If you are interested in joining my efforts (which are very early on in terms of development) please message me on Matrix @ladyautumn:chat.blahaj.zone or email me at [email protected].

well i understand because my parents will notice if i'm taking hormone blockers

yay?????

So I started DIY a few months ago using estradiol gel for monotherapy (2.5g 0.06% gel applied scrotally twice a day for a total of 3 mg estradiol / day). I saw plenty of expected effects, including nipple sensitivity and no more spontaneous erections (after a month or so even direct stimulation was starting to get less effective). No blood tests, but I conclude estrogen levels are probably OK-ish and testosterone must be somewhat suppressed.

This month, I get on prescription injections instead at last. The standard course here is monotherapy, 10 or 20 mg estradiol valerate (Progynon) as an IM depot injection every two weeks. Different schedules, progestogens, anti-androgens etc are available but I'm probably going to have to advocate for that myself if necessary. First injection, 10mg; I stopped using gel that day. All seems OK, but a few days in, I start getting erections at night again. Weird, but I assume it could be an occasional thing. By day six, they're happening every night, sometimes getting semi-hard during the day too. Nipple sensitivity has pretty much gone so I conclude the injection has worn off and go back on gel. Everything reverts to "gel normal" as above.

Injection two, two weeks after the first, I get 20mg this time. Stop gel again. After a few hours, boom lots of breast sensitivity / swelling. I'm guessing this is a pretty good indicator of E levels. That's slowly dropped down to gel-like levels over the subsequent few days and what do you know, the erections are back again. I conclude peak levels were a bit higher than gel, but dropping off rapidly again and probably not going to last the full two weeks. (This is consistent with the simulator on transfem science).

I'll be asking for blood tests next time and checking with the doctor, but I'd like to get a straw poll: does anybody see random erections even with T suppressed? Am I overthinking things? I'm not seeing a massive return of BO or anything, so I assume T isn't getting that high, but god damn I hate waking up to that thing.

I was at Epcot the other day and suddenly the globe, the trees, the new little park, and all the Magicbands began to glow pink, silver and blue. The globe was an especially obvious trans flag (sorry if that isn't the correct term). I stopped and paid attention to the song that was playing and it was from their flop "Wish".

Have you ever wondered why you look up at the sky for answers?

Well, you don't have to look too hard
We're here for all your question marks
If you're try'na figure out just who you are
Don't look far

In the sky and your front yard
In your heart and in your scars
If you really wanna know just who you are
You're a star

Nice move Disney. 10/10

I'm thinking of taking my dosage of 6mg a day down to 4mg a day so I can stockpile 2mg each day in case of an emergency. Or maybe every other day to stockpile 1mg each day.

I'm worried though about it negatively affecting me mentally, but I also know that if I do run out and don't have a stockpile, it'll be much worse.

Or maybe I could ask my doctor to prescribe me extra so I can stockpile without reducing my dosage?

Anyways, what are your thoughts on doing this? I know Erin Reed recently put out an article which mentioned it being done (which is what inspired me to make this post).

[Requesting Engagement from transfems]

(Blahaj lemmy told me to put this up top, so I did)

I did not expect this to happen. I followed FairyPrincessLucy for a long time, cuz she's real nice and seems cool.

Time passes and I noticed how I would feel very bad when watching her do stuff. I was like

damn, she so generally okay with her situation. Wish I was too lol

So I stopped watching her.

Just now I discovered another channel, Melody Nosurname , and I really, really like her videos! She seems very reasonable and her little character is super cute <3
But here too I noticed how watching the vids made me super uncomfortable.
The representation is nice, for sure, and her videos are of very high quality, I can only recommend them (as in - the videos).

I started by noticing

woah, her tshirt is super cute, I wanna have that too!

Then I continue with

heyo her friend here seems also super cool. Damn wish I had cool friends

And then eventually the classic

damn, I wish I were her

At that point, it's already over. I end up watching another video and, despite my genuine interest in the topic, I stop it in the middle, close the tab and open Lemmy (and here we are).

Finally I end up watching videos by cis men, like Scott the Woz. They are fine, and I end up not comparing myself to them (since I wouldn't necessarily want to be them). I also stopped watching feminine people in general online, as they tend to give me a very similar reaction. Just like

yeah, that's cool that you're mostly fine with yourself, I am genuinely happy for you that you got lucky during random character creation <3

I also watched The Owl House, which is a really good show (unfortunately owned by Disney) and I stopped watching when...

Spoiler for the Owl House

it started getting gay <3 cuz I started feeling way too jealous of them just being fine with themselves and pretty and gay <3 and such

I wanted to see where the show was going, and I'm sure it's real good, but that is not worth risking my wellbeing, I thought.

So anyway...

have you had a period like that before?
How did you deal with it?
Do you watch transfem people? Please share your favs! <3
I also like watching SimplySnaps. Her videos are also really high quality, I just end up not being able to watch them for too long before sad hits :(

additional info about me, if anyone cares

I currently don't take hrt, but I'm on my way. I'm attending psychological therapy with a really nice tharapist here in Germany.
I struggle to find good words to describe how I feel but slowly I find better words for it.
I'm currently 19 and present myself mostly masculine still, while trying to act very nice, generally acceptable and friendly. So kinda in a way which makes both super sweet queer people <3 <3 <3 <3 and hetero cis queerphobes accept me as just another character. (I work at a school with very mixed ideologies, so I kinda have to).
But oh boi do I have social anxiety, even at home with mother...

EDIT: Changed info about SimplySnaps
EDIT2: Added The Owl House example

Like in 2016 a rising tide of conservatives emboldened by the Republican victory are starting to crop up online. Hate speech and random attacks directed at the trans community in online spaces will continue and most likely grow louder in the coming weeks. For our safety and mental health I encourage everyone to avoid online spaces that are not strictly moderated. Avoid social media where transphobia and misogyny are tolerated. The effect of constact exposure to hate speech is profound and horrific. We need to shelter ourselves from it as much as possible. I know it doesn't sound very brave to say that but its the truth. We need to look after each other of course, but first of all we have to look after ourselves.

Like everyone here I've been through a chaotic mess of emotions over the past couple days. I am furious, heartbroken, terrified, and sick with anxiety. I have picked apart everything thats happened in the past few months and tried to make sense of how this could happen. The hows and whys of it dont matter though. This is the reality we are confronted with and we have to exist within it. There is no use in praying for a different world. There is no use in lamenting the reality as it exists.

Trans people have made it through so many eras of open hostility towards us. Our community is built on the foundations laid by those who came before us. We persevere because of our solidarity, our empathy and our unity. We must now turn our attention to how we can fight back against this system. We must move our focus to how we can persist within a new world. Trans people still need hormones. We need ways out of hostile communities. We need protection and we need security. Our focus must change to how we can provide those things without the help of institutions. We need networks of supportive cisgender people throughout deep red states. We need supply chains for bringing hormones to people who cannot access them. We need communities online oriented around supporting our most vulnerable.

I am committed to this community supporting all of those efforts, and am looking to become personally involved in organizing efforts as time goes on. Channel your anger and your fear into action. Process your feelings together, support each other, and remember that youre not alone. We are not alone. Things aren't okay. They won't suddenly be okay tomorrow. But we can look after our community. We can push back. It's our duty to do so, for trans youth and vulnerable trans people who can't advocate for themselves and are subject to the whims of the system.

What are your thoughts on getting your health records wiped? Yay/Nay?

My Therapist asked if I wanted my medical records wiped..... I was asked if I wanted my medical records scrubbed of any mention of being trans or gender dysphoria. She indicated I could ask the same from all of my doctors. It feels disgusting but some part of me says it's a good idea. I could just be a woman on Estrogen which isn't really unusual. I wanted to share with the community, this is a personal choice you should consider. permalink by Shadowfoxx757

I'm leaning more towards that they'll make it legal to "we retain the right to refuse service to", or your boss can fire you because you are trans, rather than poring through medical records to fuck people's lives up.

Notable comments in my opinion:

• Once your trans status has been wiped from medical records (I've not done so, but I'm seriously considering it), you can then tell doctors that you've had a hysterectomy, or that you happen to have a birth defect where your uterus never formed. This covers why certain things like PAP Smears don't apply to you, even though they apply to most women. ⏤ by lirannl
  • My medical record already seems to not say I'm trans, but it does have the line "congenital absent uterine cervix" ⏤ by Xunae
• Look, everyone should absolutely do what they feel is best for their safety, full stop, no questions asked. My own feeling though, is that A) I honestly don’t believe our worst fears are going to come to pass. Why? Do you remember Trump’s first term and what a chaotic mess it was, even from the GOP’s perspective? Remember when the GOP squandered their House majority on infighting? They are going to be so overeager with everyone trying to ram through their pet hate legislation and trying to kiss the ring, it will be like a traffic bottleneck when lanes close on the interstate during rush hour.B) even if our worst fears do come to pass, I have no energy left to hide who I am. I did it for 30+ years of my life, not only with this but with autism/ADHD as well, and I just will not go back. I cannot go back. The future is scary yes, but ultimately we do not know what will happen. I do know, however, what will happen if I go backwards and I am certain that place is as scary for me personally as anything they can do to me. ⏤ by Different-Yam-736

I don't know what comes next. I don't know what to expect. It's serious. It's real this time. Prepare for the worst-case scenarios and do not assume anything. A lot has been said about how this administration plans to handle queer rights. It could mean anything. No level of institutional violence against trans people is off the table as of now. Medications can be banned, non-conformity with assigned roles can be criminalized, conversion therapy can be accepted as widespread policy. I don't know. The end result is it's not good. Whatever this change in power means for us, it's not good. I don't want to downplay the seriousness of what's at stake here.

That being said, as escape and resistance efforts materialize, this community will support them. We will persevere as queer people have always had to. When the systems fail us, we rely on each other. Grassroots efforts will come together in the coming weeks and months. I encourage people to do what they think is right and to do what they think will keep themselves and their families safe. We have to stay together and we have to love and protect each other. No matter what happens. Unity and queer power doesn't stop now. Today is a day to mourn the loss of a safe world for so many queer people. Tomorrow, we should begin to steel ourselves for resistance.

I hope the best for everyone. This community is here to support us all as this unfolds. I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could say or do. The waves of anxiety and fear have been washing over me for the past couple of hours. Let's mourn together, I guess. And get ready for what comes tomorrow.

There's some crisis lines in the sidebar I encourage anyone to make use of if you're unsafe right now. Those are all explicitly trans affirming support lines.

Looking for ideas of where to move next. Places in the US that are lgbt friendly, and preferably have good trans healthcare. I'll probably never be able to move to any of them, but it would be nice to pretend for a little while.

If it weren't for the amount of effort I have to put in, I'd love to look like this every day xD

Tap for spoiler

So my transition results have always been mid, i am by no means a model and I hate to say it but i hate that. I wanted that, and it didn’t happen. I do have smallish boobs but things like hips, ass, etc never really happened for me. I struggle a lot mentally with this. I have been questioning if HRT is even actually working for me, I can still cum and I do see it being the same color it was pre HRT, it is usually reduced at the start of my weekly injection, but by the end it’s back and I feel like shit. I am currently on 0.5ml of estradiol cypinate taken once weekly. I am unsure about my levels since while labs said my estradiol levels were at 200pg/ml I am suspicious I may of injected late and forgot it about it, for reference I usually wait a full 7 days between my injection and labs and when I’ve done that at 0.3ml my levels were only 90pg/ml. I just don’t know and plume doesn’t seem overly helpful to me with my issues.

We saw The Beths opening for Alvvays last night and it was amazing.

Hokay, so.

I’m on HRT and have been for a decade and change. This is real cool, except how basically every interaction with cisgenderedists gets me misgendered, and a hearty “sir” or a flurry of “he/hims” levied my way. I mean, fuck, I can be standing there in knee-high boots, a leather skirt, and a cropped hoodie and I get misgendered as fuuuck.

“So change shit up, motherfucker.”

I do a phone job and my voice is believably feminine in both English and Japanese, which is cool, but something about my real life existence just reeks of masculinity.

Can’t really do makeup cause the structures responsible for processing my face are damaged. I can tell what emotion I’m making, but I can’t perceive enough of my face to draw well on it. Also since I’ve had two strokes, even if I could, I’d prolly do eyeliner wings like a fuckin’ gridiron player.

I got beautiful wavy blonde hair that goes down past my butt, and though I don’t have the manual dexterity to style that really well with buns and braids and such, I can at least try shit other than the basic nape-of-neck ponytail.

Also I’m flat as your average golf course: maybe two discernible bumps, and that’s fuckin’ it. Also I’m ace as fuck so if they were any bigger I’d get real self-conscious about it.

At least I got a fashion sense that makes Square Enix jealous.

I’m gonna figure shit out that works for me, either that or I’m gonna keep on tolerating the injustices of the bastards who never thought to play with the character creator.

Also I guess they want me to add a photo so here you are.

Apologies for my shitty English. It’s fuckin’ terrible.

[TW] Stretch marks

I'm so happy about this OMG OMG OMG!!!! I have such a hard time gaining weight and since it was going down I assumed I needed to eat more, but it looks like I was losing muscle and gaining fat? I don't know any women around me who likes hers but I think they look soo cool! Like a nice pattern on my skin. :)