Discussion

The reason I ask this question is that it seems like most people who leave Reddit for Lemmy—or the ones who get banned and then come here—got banned for some political reason. So it makes me wonder.

Also, not to mention, the content here is highly politically charged. Actually, I wouldn’t even say that. It’s just mostly political—and extreme.

In your honest opinion, do you think the Lemmy software was created as a place for political extremists to congregate, or was it legitimately made as a social media alternative to Reddit?

What’s your opinion? And what’s been your experience?

Cause I opened this post https://lemmy.world/post/25293743 where they complain that there are some conservative subreddits on reddit now.

It seems like in recent years, I've noticed a growing trend of society, particularly in this generation, looking down on or outright vilifying femininity. Whether it's being labeled as "weak," "outdated," or "performative," femininity is often dismissed or misunderstood.

But why?

There’s nothing wrong with embracing femininity. Being feminine doesn’t equate to lacking strength, intelligence, or independence. It’s simply another way of expressing oneself, and it holds just as much value as any other trait.

Femininity is often about nurturing, creativity, elegance, and emotional intelligence. These qualities are not just valid—they’re necessary for balance in any society. Unfortunately, in an era where hyper-individualism and aggression are often glorified, softer and more traditional traits are sometimes seen as less desirable or even shameful.

To me, femininity isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a choice and a celebration of self. It takes strength to embrace who you are unapologetically, especially when the world tries to diminish you for it.

What are your thoughts? Why do you think society has such a complicated relationship with femininity? And how can we push back against this narrative to reclaim and celebrate it?

Let’s have an honest and open discussion—whether you agree or disagree!

This happened last weekend and I can’t stop thinking about it. My boyfriend invited me to his company’s Christmas dinner and I was excited but also nervous. I wanted to make a good impression so I spent a lot of time picking the perfect outfit, doing my hair, and ensuring I was presentable.

When we arrived everything seemed fine at first. I introduced myself to his coworkers and they were polite if not a little stiff. As the night went on though things took a turn.

During dinner my boyfriend made a joke about my job. I’m an event planner and he works in corporate finance. He said something like “She just plans parties for a living while I’m out here making real money.” People laughed but I felt a lump in my throat. I work hard and I’m proud of what I do so hearing him belittle me like that stung.

I tried to laugh it off to keep things light but then he doubled down. Someone asked me about my favorite event I’d planned and before I could answer he interrupted saying “Probably one of those kids’ birthday parties. That’s her level of expertise.” Everyone laughed again and I just sat there mortified.

The final straw came during dessert when people were sharing funny stories. He decided to tell an embarrassing story about me that I’ve explicitly asked him not to share before. It’s a personal story from early in our relationship involving a mishap I had while meeting his parents. I was practically begging him with my eyes to stop but he told the story anyway.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everyone was laughing, and I wanted to disappear. I quietly told him I wasn’t okay with what he was doing but he brushed me off, saying “Don’t be so uptight—it’s all in good fun.”

At that point I couldn’t take it anymore. I excused myself thanked the host and left. When he got home he was furious accusing me of embarrassing him by leaving. He said I made him look bad in front of his coworkers and that I was being overly sensitive.

Now he’s refusing to apologize and insists I owe him an apology for “overreacting.” My friends are split some say I should’ve stayed and dealt with it later while others think he crossed the line.

So? Thoughts ?

Maybe they're too many lurkers. What do you think? Do you think content creators if they were on lemmy, would make lemmy better?

I’ve noticed that I feel confident and happy with how I look in the mirror, but photos often make me feel completely different. The contrast between these two perceptions is so strange to me. Is this a common experience, or does anyone know why this happens? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Just wondering what's everyone's "NO WAY" in life

If not, why?

I remember spending entire car rides staring out the window, imagining elaborate stories about the trees and cars racing beside me. Now, it's hard to imagine anyone surviving a long trip without a phone or tablet in hand.

I recently stumbled upon a video discussing how many people feel uncomfortable or even anxious at the thought of dining alone in a restaurant. The idea seemed to be that sitting by yourself in a public place, surrounded by groups or couples, could trigger feelings of self-consciousness or awkwardness. I found it interesting and wondered if this is a common experience. Do a lot of people really get freaked out by the idea of eating alone in a restaurant? Have you ever felt this way, or do you think it’s perfectly fine to enjoy a meal by yourself?

Chivalry has long been a topic of debate. Some argue it's an outdated concept that reinforces gender stereotypes, while others believe it’s a timeless display of respect and kindness. In a world striving for equality, where do we draw the line between traditional gestures and modern values?

Have we lost the essence of chivalry, or has it simply transformed into something different? Is it still important for men to hold doors open, pay for dates, or offer their coats? Or do those actions come off as patronizing?

I want to hear your opinions! Do you see chivalry as an essential part of relationships today, or do you think it’s time to move on from those old norms?

We all have those moments in life that make us cringe, but with time, they transform into the funniest stories to tell. Whether it was an awkward encounter, a public blunder, or something completely unexpected, these embarrassing experiences can provide us with great laughs later on. What’s something really embarrassing that happened to you that you can now look back on and laugh about?

We’ve all had those rare moments when things fall perfectly into place—whether it’s stumbling upon an opportunity, witnessing something amazing, or avoiding disaster by pure chance. What’s a memorable time when you found yourself exactly where you needed to be, right when it mattered most?

Let’s talk about something real for a second—when was the last time you had a deep conversation? Not just some surface-level chit-chat about the weather or who’s dating who, but a real, raw, soul-baring discussion that made you think? It feels like we’re losing the art of that.

Social media has turned everything into soundbites and hot takes. Everyone’s quick to tweet or post something for likes, but where’s the depth? When did we stop diving into the uncomfortable or challenging topics and start just... reacting to everything? We’ve become allergic to nuance, obsessed with being right instead of understanding each other. You ever notice how even when people do talk, it’s all about winning the argument, not learning from the conversation? Like, what happened to genuinely listening without waiting for your turn to speak?

It’s like people are scared to be vulnerable, to open up about the messy parts of life. We’re constantly scrolling, double-tapping, moving on to the next thing instead of sitting with something and exploring it fully. Have we all become so distracted that we’ve forgotten how to truly connect?

I’m curious—do you think the digital age is destroying meaningful conversation, or am I just getting old and cranky?

A part of just wants to put everything behind like this shame, anxiety, fear and all this negative emotions and feelings that seems to be in the way. And part of me just says it's just too late to change everything. You don't have enough time to fix everything. And you surely lack the confidence, skills, and smartness. Like I just want to be happy and fulfill my role in this life. For years, I've avoided facing my fears and now that I realize how much time has gone by. I feel this urgency that I have to do it now. No more wasting time.

One of the biggest challenges today is the aging population caused by the low birth rates and the fact that it is now impossible to start a family.

And I think one of the “solutions” is to create a technology that creates humans (e.g. artificial uteruses) but also cares for them until adulthood, which will be more complex.

Imagine, an artificial machine that creates human being X and then a technology that develops him until he is an adult and autonomous.

Another solution is to create mega centers to care for humans with human labor, but this is also difficult and unlikely.

A child is something that needs to be taken care of and it's not easy to create a technology that takes care of them until they're adults.

Do you think this is possible and could it be applied in the future?

currently I’m on a weight loss journey meanwhile most of my highschool class are as skinny as they were senior year (some have blown up like balloons as well) I’m 26 now and I’ve seen classmates and they’re identical to when they were 17-18 years old. Is being “naturally skinny” actually a thing? As in do some people just naturally only consume 1,500 calories per day unconsciously? I know they aren’t working out

As I inch closer to 30, it’s hard not to feel the weight of this unspoken expectation that by now, I should have it all sorted out—career on track, relationships settled, finances stable, basically the full package.

But I can't help but wonder, is this just an unrealistic societal pressure we’ve all absorbed, or is there some truth to it?

When I talk to my friends, it’s clear we’re all over the map. Some are married with kids, while others are still figuring out what they even want to do with their lives.

It makes me question if these timelines we think we’re supposed to follow really make sense.

Do you feel this pressure too? And for those who’ve crossed the 30-mark, did things actually start falling into place, or is this whole idea of “having it together” by 30 just a myth?

I’d love to hear how everyone else is navigating this stage of life.

For the record I am a chick and i do not have fake tits

No offense to dudes here either bc yes they're allowed a preference.

But it's just been the majority opinion amongst guys I've asked this to, that fake boobs are unattractive and real ones are much sexier.

Did you catch that?

They've said they are unattractive.

To me, that just feels like an exaggerated kind of shitty out of touch response. Especially being that most guys watch pornography where most of the women have fake tits. I'll even go out on a limb here and say MOST women who do porn, HAVE FAKE TITS.

So how the fuck can you say that?

The argument is that they look fake and feel fake. Ok, I can understand that point of view. But listen, it's 2024 I know cosmetic surgery has advanced to limit that. Especially if you get a great doctor. Are there any women here who have fake boobs that have been indistinguishable for a guy to tell the difference?

For me, it's about the aesthetic. Fake boobs (not basketball ones) just look nicer. Simetrical, they make your body look sexier even and your clothes look nicer and your arms look smaller. More arousing in my opinion.

I would prefer to have bigger fake boobs then my current natural ones for those reasons. My current boobs are nice yea, but I just want them bigger. A cup size or two.

Anyway this post isn't about me and my boobs. I just don't get that viewpoint on it. I feel like it's contradictory.

Lastly,

I've even heard a few say that women with fake ones are jealous of women with big real ones, bc even they know most men prefer real over fake and that is why they're jealous.

Overall the whole thing is fucking stupid. Tits are tits even if they're fake. I don't get the hate.

Clothes, phone cases things like that ?

Something I was experimenting with, making a list or "inventory" of all the "stuff" (physical or non-physical / digital) in your life, in order to make better use of it

Some "stuff" has been haphazardly acquired in my life, as gifts or things I've gotten without a plan on how to use them, or digital files I'll get to "one day"... having a list of these things makes it easier to actively manage them (get rid of unused / unwanted stuff, make more regular use of things I have that I may not use much that I want to use, etc.)

Anyone gained any insights from making an inventory of "stuff" in their lives?

Not framing this in a "You're a piece shit bc of x y z" type of way. So hopefully yall don't take offense.

Asking out of curiosity because pretty much the entire human race lives on their phones and we need internet now.

Thoughts ?

I came up with some ideas for subforums. I just created a subforum in my instance called "Made in Poland". The idea is to share polish both big and small local businesses so that polish people who are more conscious of the need of supporting their own economic environment this way have a nice source of data.

I thought that this subforum could also be helpful for non polish people, like tourists that might want to buy local stuff when they visit. And in turn I thought about another forum for people who maybe would want to know about my country. Havent yet made it but it would be a forum where people post things about Poland that every visitor, every person interseted in our country should know. Probably only good stuff (XD I mean every country has their dark side, but maybe thats for a even different subforum XD) that we are most proud of, you know. Like best places to see, best food to eat, events and so on.

And I thought that maybe you might wanted to do something analogous but for USA (I assume that's HC's country of origin, unless your aiming at being an international instance, but that still doesnt exclude possibility I talking about )? So you could similarly do subforum called "Made in USA" and "Best of USA" or something like that for people that are not from US. I'm not sure if this would be practical given the fact how enormous your country is but maybe? So maybe don't include companies like Apple or Google which I think everyone knows are from US and I'm not sure if nowadays these companies are best examples of companies to be proud of (saying that and I'm still using google products every day xd). And also best of "USA" would be place to show what you are most proud of about your country, best places to see etc for non US people to know when they visit or just want to know. Maybe in your case it would be better to create more fragmented subforums? Idk

Just food for thought

EDIT: I removed part about covering news by each instance. Not sure if it makes sense. At least for you I mean. Plenty of sources to find on the web I guess. In our case though its different cause only polish know polish so maybe that's something to think about.