lazyneet

Don't worry about it, I love hearing from you whenever you're in post-responding mode. Thanks for engaging. :)

Thank you for empathizing with my weird rp situation. There are a couple of elements to it for me:

1. The day I'm supposed to meet them, I boymode from the moment I get up so I can get used to it. It isn't bad since other trans people I see around recognize me and know what I'm doing. I end up looking like a very effeminate man dressed as a trucker, almost a butch lesbian vibe. That's the best I can do, and it's actually kind of gender-affirming that I fail at masculinity so hard. As long as I don't have to change my body for that gender presentation (beyond letting my arm and leg hair grow a bit) and as long as it's just two days out of the week at most, it's a worthy sacrifice for me. It does cause me a little stress to think about, like I'm slipping irreversibly into manhood, but when it's over I'm back to my old self.
2. The sex is a little odd since I can't top very well, and my partner certainly doesn't want to top. We've never had sex with our clothes on, but I put my hair in a bun and try to be as dominant as I can. Last time, all I did was give them a blowjob and finger them a bit. Hopefully we'll have more energy next time. I'm desperate for sex, so anything is better than nothing.

As for hormones, not cumming much is absolutely a side effect of full MTF hormone therapy, in my case E and spiro. There are still orgasms, but not significant ejaculations. If you did monotherapy or just E + finasteride or some other DHT blocker, it might be different. You might think of the latter cases as enby hormones, since there would probably still be significant levels of T, so your dick would probably work the same.

I don't need to top, but with this partner maybe I'm a passive top. 😂 I do it for them, and I get a little lethargic in that role, maybe due to trauma or something else. I hate bashing the people I'm with, and they really are a nice person, but I always prefer to be the little one. 🥺 It's weird when fem AMAB people try to help me live some unclaimed manhood or whatever. Where were you when I was 22? When I was 16? I was abstinent for 7 or 8 years because nobody wanted me to top in the aggressive, BDSM-informed way that I see as ideal. And there was that that one guy who wanted me to "rape" him. Like bro, I'm barely hard, and you've never bottomed before. I swear, the people I date are the most random and often ill-fitting partners imaginable, and I'm so socially awkward/desperate that I will accept them just because.

Everybody I've talked to says they like flavored lube. I've never tried it, but that's probably closer to what you're hoping for.

I'm sure there are people here who would take charge, but you really have to beg for it. 😈 My current partner (also trans) wants me to top them and also boymode, which is very different for me. I haven't had that kind of dynamic in 10 years (unless you count a regrettable encounter with a loser I met on an app once). I physically can't shoot big loads, but the psychological element should be the same if it's a service top situation.

Yes. I used a condom that was supposedly flavored, but it just tasted like rubber to me. It was fun except the dick was too big for me and I puked a little. The guy seemed to like it though.

I sympathize with these feelings, and I'm sorry you've had to wait so long to get this taken care of. Be confident that it isn't that far in the future.

As for my experiences, I can personally relate to gender dysphoria but not genital dysphoria. I missed out on a lot of gay experiences when I was younger because, while I've always liked dicks, I've never seen masculinity as a positive trait, and the one gay guy I knew in high school was very masc and went to the gym and stuff. I'm dating another transfem with a similar background to my own, and (perhaps because they look more feminine than I do and have stronger dysphoria) they're asking me to boymode, which I hadn't done in about a year. I do it because I care about them and desperately need that relationship. (Abandonment issues.) Plus it's just something different.

My suggestion, beyond taking solace in the fact that you have a surgery planned, is to spend time with a partner, be it someone who is trans or someone who understands the trans experience more than a completely cis person. Intimacy with someone you're attracted to and know and understand can be therapeutic.

Fucking hell is your wife lucky

Weird question I know, but how does one typically hear about gay porn of the twink/femboy variety? This looks pretty nice, whatever this is.

I took a trip and it definitely was, but only the girls act like anime characters over there. Japanese men in general seem to take things too seriously, but my sexuality at the time was just semi-out bi, so I didn't see much of the gay community. Apparently, one thing you don't do is sit next to someone in the water at a regular (non-gay) bathhouse.

I'm really into BL anime. The guys have such smooth skin and cute mannerisms and live in picturesque settings. I could move to Japan but everybody would be 3D.

I'm sorry you're going through that. Since we're sharing... A few years ago, I (amab) started feeling really uncomfortable being called a "man" and especially the honorific "sir", so I adopted the nonbinary label in online communities to avoid any kind of gendering. But it wasn't enough, and almost a year after that I learned makeup techniques and bought some fem clothes at a thrift store, and things kept going in that direction without any attempt on my part to hide it.

I'm not sure I understand the truly genderless perspective of people I've known, but the desire to remove cisgendered attributes from one's self is the part that resonates with me. My facial hair, my voice, and my height are all nasty reminders. I boymode when explicitly asked to (like by my partner, who is the same as me) but I don't think I could tolerate a setting or organization trying to make me present as cis-het. I'm basically fem every day in a town that has some trouble respecting that, but I'm also attending a college where this is fairly normal.

This morning I looked in the mirror and thought "wow, I'd fuck you"

I don't know the business, but let's say you're an especially popular escort who serves 5 unique clients per week (obviously there would be repeat customers) and works 10 months out of the year, meaning 200/year. If you work for a decade you're in the thousands.