krooklochurm

joined 1 month ago
[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 2 points 14 hours ago

You, me, and everyone else

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 8 points 15 hours ago

I fucking hate this whole dynamic.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca -1 points 15 hours ago (4 children)

Did you accept?

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 0 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (2 children)

Shumming.

It's a new word I learned the other day on lemmy.

It's when you shit and cum at the same time.

Here it is a sentence "I'm going to shun all over your face"

Or "I can't right now, I'm shumming!"

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

A quarter ounce of blow and four of the dirtiest Roman hookers I could find.

I was not only given a vision of where Jesus was born, but the extensive navigational and shipbuilding experience necessary to travel to South America to obtain coca 1000 years before the Vikings did. I was also granted a vision by god of the horticultural knowledge necessary to grow coca somewhere Jesus adjacent, and the advanced knowledge of chemistry necessary to extract it in its pure form.

I show up and basically stay up for three days talking about bread and drinking wine, occasionally excusing myself to bang my hookers, drunk off my ass on wine the entire time.

I'm eventually ejected from the manger, which really pisses me off. I hold a grudge.

The energy I have been given by excessive cocaine use allows me to rise through the ranks of Roman society, all the while holding a deep grudge, as the other wise men get all the credit for bringing their shitty gifts. One by one I start eliminating the people that were at the manger, aa my oversized cocaine-enhanced ego can't take the slight. Until one day I hear about some jerkoff running around calling himself king of the Jews, and my final revenge arrives at last.

My name? Pontuis Pilate.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

Mental illness. Soulless greedy monsters. A just society should not allow this obscenity.

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago (6 children)

WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE DRHNK DUDE?

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Good for you for owning up to it like a grown up. Might I suggest rewarding yourself by shumming?

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 day ago

One in the purple two in the shit hole

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Blackie chan, Mackey chan, chimi changa, four chan, channel three, the English Channel, black and chan, dr. Chan, Jackie chan FUCK

[–] krooklochurm@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I like turtles

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