immutable

You are correct I’m from the US. I’ve also met lots of people from South America and Europe.

I also meet a lot of people through the things I like to do, largely writing code, I’m a weird engineer guy that writes code all day and relaxing by writing more code.

I won’t pretend I know what life is like where you are. Maybe though you can find people that are interested in the same things you are. I’ve also spent a good part of my life volunteering to help others. Volunteering at community food banks or a local hospital I’ve found the most kind and generous people, and it’s filled my heart with a love for my fellow man.

I don’t know what’s around you, and it might seem daunting to try, but finding a local volunteering group and spending an evening with them might be a good place to start. You might not meet your soulmate, but it’s a low cost step to connecting with whatever good people are around.

That makes sense. I’m an engineer and half the things I talk about don’t mean anything to my wife but she still listens. And half of the art things she’s telling me about don’t make sense to me but I love to watch her talk about things she’s excited about and try to understand.

I think the best thing you can do is exactly what this reply does, understand what things you appreciated about the relationship. It’s very important to know what you are looking for and what you value.

I might be an optimist, but I’ve gotten to meet a lot of people in my life and I’m of the opinion that there’s really a lot of good in most people. It’s not always at the surface, but it’s almost always there.

I really do hope the best for you. Life is a beautiful, wonderful, and limited experience. I’m not religious, but I am a mathematician, the number of variables that had to line up just so so that you could exist are a wonder. I hope you live your life to its fullest and look back at this time as nothing more than a speed bump. If a total stranger can care about you, so can the people around you.

Good luck, be kind to yourself.

I don’t know the person you are talking about, they might genuinely be amazing, they might just have excellent social skills, but the most important thing for you to do is move on.

This isn’t a riddle worth solving. Why did they mesh so well with you? Why didn’t they stick around? Let’s imagine a world where you have these answers with 100% certainty. Does it change anything? No.

I don’t say this to belittle you, but to encourage you. Your happiness, your worth, your life is not this other person.

You deserve happiness and love and all that life has to offer. There are billions of people on this planet and I guarantee you that if you move forward you will find many that will love you and care about you. And you will find many that don’t. And you will find everything in between.

Don’t fall for the trap of there being one true love out there. Take what good you can from that experience and also learn from it. It seems you placed a high degree of importance on sharing similar opinions and interests. That is important, but many people fall madly in love with people that are unlike themselves too. I love my wife with all my heart and we share the same core values but we differ in many ways. I’m loud, she prefers the quiet, I’m an engineer, she’s an artist, but we love those things about each other.

Take away from this that maybe you should bump up how important having a partner who is loyal and able to communicate well is, and notch down how important some of these other aspects.

It hurts going through heartbreak. It is natural and human to want to not feel that pain again. Sadly, love requires that we be vulnerable. Love is a stupid gamble that you can let someone know the real you and they will embrace that and stand by it. It is so special because it is so rare. But I learned something important in my time on earth, most everyone is capable of love, and everyone deserves to be loved.

At the very least, love yourself. We can not change what has passed, but we get to choose what happens next. You get to choose today to love you, and you get to choose it tomorrow and the next day and the next, and I hope you do. And when you love someone, even if that someone is yourself, you won’t be able to bear to see them persist in despair. Find your love of travel, or art, or science, or writing, or whatever brings you joy. Let that love fill your heart for a while.

I hope all the best for you, 20s is far too early to give up. When I feel despair in my own life I remember this quote by Mary Pickford and it’s always made me feel better

You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing that we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down.

Every thing she lists is fluff.

If you are an employed professional you are spending your year doing your job. Not going back to school to pick up a certificate for fun or finding a documentary to be in (what even is this?)

I imagine the husband biting through his cheek during this grilling thinking “yea I’m busy fucking doing things.”

How do you define “violent aggression” then?

If someone poisons the air you breathe or the water you drink, is that violent aggression? Because there’s a long history of corporations knowingly doing just that to communities they believed were powerless to stop them.

If officers under the color of law routinely harass members of your community, openly admitting that they can choose who they want to stop under perfectly legal pretextual stops and then find a reason to beat or intimidate you, is that violent aggression?

Violent aggression can take many forms. What does violent aggression look like? If I buy the company that employs the people in your town and then fire everyone and move it overseas so I can make more money, that’s aggressive certainly, it will cause suffering, is it violent? Is violence just physical force? If I put a sheriff between me and the violence, if I use economic means but then enforce them at the barrel of someone else’s gun, am I being violent or are they?

Violence up close is easy to define, but how many layers of indirection do we need for violent acts to become ok. Politics is all about choices and a lot of choices end up harming a great number of people. We are living through and will continue experiencing natural disasters super charged by climate change. Communities flooded and burned down and destroyed by hurricane force wind, all because a few people would like to have more money and convinced some politicians that it was ok. Is that violence?

Sure if I said I was going to burn your house down that’s violent, but if I aggressively pursue bribing (sorry, lobbying) politicians so that they will support policies that my own scientists tell me will result in your house burning down, is that still violence?

That’s the real question people struggle with.

This has real “let them eat cake” vibes

Eggs have traditionally been one of the cheapest staple sources of protein for the working poor.

I guarantee if this trend exists a statistically irrelevant portion of those doing it have ever even heard the term “zebra striping”

The right is living out their wet dream right now, in charge of almost every facet of the federal government.

And your concern is that people aren’t being nice enough to them and their supporters.

Collaborators can eat shit

Until orgy porgy houses start popping up, I’m calling bullshit on brave new world.

I dunno, reading the FAQ this seems like some of the least bad public private partnerships

https://potholepatrol.co.za/faq/

It’s an insurance company that doesn’t want to pay out for people damaging their cars on potholes. Seems like a rare win for everyone. Insurance company pays out less, people don’t slam into potholes damaging their cars, and I guess the insurance company gets some advertising.

There are so many dystopia things going on, but I think this one is fine.

There’s no way a busty woman talking about bitcoins could honeypot any of these people. No sir. These young men are definitely above that sort of thing and no enemy of America would be wise enough to take advantage of these young lads.

Nope, totally safe and secure. We should all sleep soundly tonight knowing some 19 year old has access to our national treasury under the order of a ketamine addict.

You know what they say when you are at the top of a global order and reap substantial benefits from having that coveted position?

Blow it all up and hope that it’ll come out better by having you… at the top… which is where you already were… hold on.