Or a Sky News anchor trying to spark conflict
brisk
At the risk of being trite:

What's the original?
Cotton bud, cotton swab, ear bud
What's the second crank for?
The article title (now?) has a second line which IMO is important to include in the headline. The whole title is currently:
Trump Named Delcy Rodríguez Venezuela’s Interim President and a US Partner in Governing the Country
Two Hours Later, She Publicly Rejected Washington, Called It an Aggressor, and Reaffirmed Loyalty to Nicolás Maduro
From the article:
US president Donald Trump said that Delcy Rodriguez had been sworn in as Venezuela’s interim president and had agreed to act in partnership with Washington—effectively allowing the United States to run the country.
“In essence, she is prepared to do what we believe is necessary to make Venezuela great again,” Trump said.
Less than two hours later, Rodriguez, who had previously served as vice-president under Nicolas Maduro, delivered a televised address to Venezuelans in which she made clear that she regarded the United States as an illegal occupier whose actions must be rejected.
“We are determined to be free,” she said. “What is being done to Venezuela is barbarism.”
Straight up theft, then
Wired with battery backup is a thing; those beep when the battery is low or missing
Where can I read it?