Insert “that’s the neat part” meme.
I think of it like a positive nihilism. Nothing inherently matters, but existing and being self-aware is such a crazy thing that just being able to consider the question is an extremely lucky state to find yourself in. So to the extent that you can control it, why not actively choose to live a positive and fulfilling existence and be a source of positivity in the experiences of others?
After working through my personal shit for several years, the stereotypical circular platitudes you might expect to hear from a monk like “to be happy, choose to be happy” make sense in a whole new way. That kind of thing isn’t the single magic step to finding fulfillment like it might sound in the surface, but it is a critical first step that informs a million future small decisions.
That’s one reason I threw in “to the extent that you can control it” because sometimes bad shit just happens.
But for what it’s worth, between 2019 and now I’ve had three financial disasters and my financial picture is way worse than it was. Debt free with emergency savings, used that up on a mess with the house, then lost my job twice over the Covid years after having been at the same place 15 years. But I’m also on the other side of it all where I have a job I like and I can start to rebuild.
But I also have a family and a ton of animals, so I’ve been holding all of that close. I wish you well!