My doctorate is irrelevant to the truth
It sure is. I've seen a PhD who didn't read the only textbook he had referenced in his thesis, which proved his idea that teachers were doing it wrong and he wasn't, was wrong. 😂 Should've listened to the people who teach it (or actually read the textbook he referenced 🙄 ).
which makes students of math feel inordinately inferior
They don't. All students get this correct. It's only adults who have forgotten the rules that get it wrong.
these gotcha-style math memes IMO deepen students’ belief that they’re just bad at math
Nope. Students never get these wrong.
proofs mean something very specific to me and I can’t yet imagine what that looks like WRT order of operations
All you have to do is see which way gives wrong answers for 2+3x4 and you've proven which ways don't work 😂
note that conventions aren’t necessarily “optional”
Yes they are.
when being understood is essential
You don't understand how to do 2+3x4-5 without knowing which conventions people use for the order of the plus and minus?
Here I am only concerned about the next generation of maths student and how viral content like this can discourage them unnecessarily
It doesn't. None of them get it wrong. 🙄

The conventions don't apply, the rules still apply. Maths notation and the rules of Maths aren't the same thing.
The rules do universally apply 🙄
Yep, and you showed you don't know the rules 🙄
Not necessarily, though it makes it easier (but also leads a lot of people to make mistakes with signs, as you found out 😂 )
To show you how to correctly do "Multiplication first". 🙄
Which you didn't, hence why you ended up with a wrong answer. 🙄 There is no textbook which says put the multiplication in Brackets if doing "Multiplication first", none.
And putting the Multiplication inside Brackets isn't a convention anywhere 🙄
Yep, and you ignored both, hence your wrong answer 🙄
And a quick look in the Google support forum will show you many people telling them that is wrong, and Google just closes the incident 🙄
No it isn't. It's against the rules. 🙄 Again, you won't find this alleged "convention" in any Maths textbook
Unless they disobeyed the rules, in which case they are all wrong 🙄
And you can be as ignorant of the rules and conventions of Maths as much as you want, and it's not going to change that your answer is wrong 🙄