However, I think it’s safe to say this architecture is effectively AI-native.
Lol...at first I thought the article wasn't satire until I found the AI part. Well done.
Summary: Hey, let's add another abstraction layer so we don't need to mock these calls, but we don't test what happends in that pesky database call, because we would need to mock that somehow. But now we need AI to handle the abstraction layer.
I think I'll use this article as a basis for discussion for job interviews.
Thanks.

I am not arguing against an effect system. They can help in certain circumstances. But none of the reasons in the article are one of them. Also the article is a bit lopsided because the real pain with these systems is error handling, resource handling like transactions or parallelism etc.
What you write about the "other benefits" profiling and logging is also not the reason to introduce such a system.
What does an api request has to do with business logic?
It feels a bit as if you just discovered the idea of effect systems and are now trying to justify to use it no matter what. 😉