this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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all 28 comments
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[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

One liter! That would require his balls to be at least 12.4 cm in diameter.

He better stay hydrated!

[–] philycheeze@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 years ago (4 children)

How does one do the math on this?

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's basic ball Math they teach it in highschool.

What's advanced ball math like

[–] jyl@sopuli.xyz 9 points 2 years ago

volume is 4/3πr^3^

I'm not going suffer my phone keyboard further for zuccs balls.

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I just brute forced with some values https://www.omnicalculator.com/math/sphere-volume

The correct way is to isolate v and solve for r

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago

It's more applied math: handjobs and beakers

[–] rarWars@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Each individual ball would actually be about 9.85cm, assuming they're both the same size.

https://www.wolframalpha.com/input?i=diameter+of+a+0.5L+sphere+in+centimeters

[–] zagaberoo@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

The balls would be normal size because they don't produce semen, just the negligable volume that consists of the actual sperm cells.

That's why it's still possible to ejaculate normally after getting a vasectomy. Well, normally other than the normal degree of fertility.

[–] rarWars@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 years ago

According to Wikipedia, jizz is 2-5% sperm by volume. Assuming the mean of 3.5, that's still a 3.2cm sphere of sperm; add all the supportive tissue and germ cells surrounding it (which make up the majority of testicular volume) and that would definitely be larger than the typical 5×2×3cm ellipsoid.

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 2 points 2 years ago

You are totally correct, but I don't let facts interfere with a good shit post (or semen post in this case).

[–] MuAraeOracle@real.lemmy.fan 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

True if the goal is for the total volume should be 1 liter but men switch between balls for each ejaculation.

So the total volume should be 2 liters for it to work in our fantasy world where everything comes from the balls.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 years ago

Wait what? We switch?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 15 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Don't believe this shit!
What they don't tell you:
- the erection works on female genitalia only
- you are a lizard only long enough to awkwardly shed your skin then turn right back
- you actually have to consume 5 litres of jizz to produce that 1 litre

Think before you moss!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

you actually have to consume 5 litres of jizz to produce that 1 litre

How is that a downside?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Yeah, you get to consume 5l, then that 1l, then the 0.25l after that, then the 0.05l, etc. It just doesn't stop.

The downside you get infinitely fat (a walking yo mamma joke). Don't forget you will wanna eat that lizard skin too.

Wait, you think very noticeably erect vaginas are a downside?

[–] Excrubulent@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that series converges, it's not an infinite sum, so the cum literally has a limit.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Mathematically you are right (it's a classic (Greek maths?) joke), all cum has its limits, but moss is magic, and magic is friendship.

Idk what I'm saying here but your statement is def something that an insufficiently mossed brain would say. I'm snitching on you to the moss-furry police.

[–] ZILtoid1991@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When I turn into a Lizard, do I get a cloaca? Do I get a magnicifent tail?

[–] DerArzt@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

How bout a frill?

[–] ignotum@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Who's gonna tell Zucc that it only works on organic beings?

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 years ago

Hitler when he's in Nazi hell

[–] DragonsInARoom@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

After the his eyes went wondering I'm glad to finally say he's just a man

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Can I take 2 out of 3?

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 1 points 2 years ago

Eating Moss or sth

Idk I'm not a botanist.