I feel like I'm in the waning days of whatever freedom allowed me to transition, and that I or people like me will end up as genocide statistics in a ravaged world. It's been hard to get up every day.
this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2025
20 points (100.0% liked)
Trans
1824 readers
7 users here now
General trans community.
Rules:
-
Follow all blahaj.zone rules
-
All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
-
Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.
Resources:
Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.
Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/
Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/
[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map
[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination
[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/
[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/
[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
I also feel that and I'm trying to figure out which country would be best to move to to avoid this threat
I feel that. I came to realise I was transfem earlier last year and I live on TERF Island, so we traded one transphobic government for another one. It's hard, and I'm still figuring out what I'm going to do about it 🙁
Same... I'm trying to get things sorted as soon as I can, and hopefully starting monotherapy soon, but even then I'm still gonna have to keep an eye on supply chains and government policies potentially forever from the look of things. I'm scared, for myself and everyone else both here and in the rest of the world. None of us asked for this but it's all framed like it's our fault somehow
It's a special kind of hell isn't it? I'm flip-flopping between "I'll just suppress it, my dysphoria isn't too bad" and fatalistic "I'm just gonna fucking do it and fuck everyone who argues 🖕" Current plan is to LARP as a cis guy being very obnoxiously pro-trans, I can at least hopefully make some TERFs uncomfortable that way
scared :c
Good and bad. I seem to be stuck in a "I'm really happy with feminizing HRT, but I'm faking being a woman" brain loop. Having switched to patches I have the fun of titrating up again, so it might just be poor hormone levels making me feel shitty.
Went out the other day in as full girl-mode as I can manage. It was fun, and easily the least dissatisfied I've ever been with my appearance.
Wife is reluctant to use my new name. Which is a bit surprising since she's been supportive so far, so I guess I'll have to try to find out what's bothering her and (gently) explain that this is a big deal, and it's not going to go away.
Ewphoria! An older guy that knows me (but I'm not yet out to) said something that roughly translates to "you look so much like a woman I almost want to feel your ass." Which is, um, a weird thing to say. But kind of validating. So thanks, but no thanks, I guess?
It's... not great. I won't lie, I am pretty fucking scared right now. Europe is turning more right wing every day and I feel like it is all going to shit very soon.
Trying to have fun with friends on discord just feels hollow now and I'm giving up. I also stupidly reached out to the only "friend" within an hour drive and got excuses again so got to feel bad about that too. It hurts more to be alone in a crowded voice chat and to repeatedly try to get together with friends only to get excuses and never have them try to spend time with you than it hurts to just give up, stop trying, and just suck it the fuck up and accept I'm better off isolated. Fuck. Hate everything about existing more or less and I just want to stop.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I hope you can find new things and people that bring light to your life 🫂 I went through the same thing last year with my friend group Discord server. I started to notice that I was the only one inviting them to play, trying to find games that fit all their random criteria, and then feeling terrible when I'd get every excuse only for those excuses not to apply to other friends. Recommend a game - no interest, another friend recommends the same game, all the interest. I eventually realized I was just at a different place mentally and emotionally and left. They're still my friends, but being in a server that makes me feel alone just wasn't good for me. Started putting my time into new friendships, but I'm just lucky these new people reached out to me because I'm incredibly shy. Gaming with friends is probably my favorite activity in life - not having that right now makes me sad, but I do now have friends to do irl things, which makes me happy. I don't like reading, but I did start reading manga (all wlw/yuri) and would force myself out of the house to a local coffee shop to do that; that's how I meant my new friends!
Started seeing a counsellor to help me process stuff. Feels more productive than calling Samaritans again, but it's good they are there, v grateful. Being genderfluid is tiring because one moment I know what I want, clear as day, the next I don't feel it.
Tired. Stuck.
I hit "fuck it" and bought parts for a new gaming rig before any stupid crap jacks up prices. Im overdue for some newer parts (ryzen 3800x and a used 2080 TI thats making noises) anyway. Should have everything by Friday except a new GPU. Hesitent to buy a new GPU because thats a lot.
Edit: Aaaand todays drama has made my mood fucking awful. Need to see about an ADHD evaluation ASAP, hopefully get my shit together sooner rather than later.