this post was submitted on 03 Dec 2024
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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 122 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Girls don’t break wind, they shatter it, and that’s why they’re breathtaking. That’s what my grandfather always used to say, until my grandmother stabbed him to death during a mental episode. Would have been funny if she suffocated him, but she didn’t seem to consider my need for irony

[–] EddoWagt@feddit.nl 47 points 1 year ago

This was not a comment I expected to read on this post

[–] whaleross@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Still a better love story than Twilight.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I hope it's because she ate an onion-heavy dish🥰

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Onions are good AND good for you! Sure, they fuel a low-to-medium risk biological agent when digested in sufficient quantities, but it's still better than eggy farts!:)))

[–] zealshock@slrpnk.net 27 points 1 year ago

I wish she would come and fart in my bed instead

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I knew he was the one when we started laughing at eachother's nighttime farts.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My girlfriend said she knew when I opened the shower curtain and used my dick as a catapult to launch water at her.

[–] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago

Relationship goals

[–] bownage@beehaw.org 17 points 1 year ago

One time my wife farted herself awake, you can't not laugh at that

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Like hell I’m going to let the girl of my dreams outfart me. The bedroom is going to be a hazmat crisis before I relent!

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 16 points 1 year ago

Farting *then lifting the edge of the duvet for a quick huff

[–] qyron@sopuli.xyz 16 points 1 year ago

And that's fine.

[–] aeharding@vger.social 9 points 1 year ago

The girl of my dreams doesn’t know how to remove oligosaccharides making food 🤔

[–] socsa@piefed.social 8 points 1 year ago

I can fix her

[–] Faydaikin@beehaw.org 7 points 1 year ago

I would be as well, but I have to settle for farting at work at this moment.