Another proof that true crime people are the fucking worst
this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2026
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That's also not true because there are microbes in the intestinal area that will create gas that will cause you to float again.
You might sink at first, though, i'll give her that.
It's much better to bury in a 45° angle, head down, in a sleeping bag. Highest point should be at least 50cm deep. Put yoghurt in the anus and around the body, a few liters is enough. Add some maggots too. Move a young tree from nearby on top. Put all the ground back, it will sink in soon enough. Hide it with twigs and leafs and make sure non of the twigs are freshly broken. Make sure you remove all footprints.
This is the advice from a serial killer, he told this when asked in an interview how he was able to hide all those bodies without being discovered for so long. He was eventually caught because he got sloppy, with a body in his trunk. Non of the disposed bodies were ever discovered by accident, even when the forests were searched with sniffer dogs after missing person reports.
Another option is to feed it to pigs, they eat everything. But you'd need to be able to feed a whole body to them without anyone noticing.
That just means you also have to puncture the intestine. Duh.
Better puncture EVERY part of the body to be on the safe side.
Poke them all over with a fork, wrap with aluminium foil, then bake at 225° for about an hour.
Don't forget to season with garlic, paprika, cumin, black pepper, and salt to taste
Death by a thousand cuts
Pig farm
Feed 'em to the pigs, Errol.
They might not float immediately, but don’t decomposition gases eventually make them float?
Also the lungs are not simply bags filled with air. They are kinda like a sponge. Puncturing a sponge won't do fuck all.
Yeah but a sponge in an airtight bag vs a sponge by itself will
But is isn't like a normal sponge, it's a sponge made of bags. If you puncture some part of it the other parts will stay dry
The visceral and parietal pleura are what keeps your thoracic cavity airtight. If the pressure gradient between the outside of your chest and the pleural space that your lungs occupy were compromised, via puncture wound or pneumothorax, then your lungs would crumple up like like a deflated balloon. The parenchyma (part of the lung you're referring to) is spongy, but it won't hold any air if it doesn't have that pressure gradient to keep air in it. It takes very little to compromise that gradent. Two puncture wounds on each side of the chest would be enough
Source: respiratory therapy student
thanks
I assume they mean the GF is referring to puncturing the pleural lining to give the corpse a collapsed lung.
Yeah thats not how it should work, if we puncture a live person their lungs are gonna collapse, the same thing probably happens if we were to do it after they died. See what happens in pneumothorax? Lungs shrink (lack of negative thorax pressure) and trying to breathe pulls air through the hole in your chest instead of to your lungs.
Puncture everything!
Go jump in a pool and exhale. Unless you've got a lot of fat, you're not going to float.
Bodies only start float when the decomposition gasses accumulate inside you and can't get out. True, putting a few holes in someone is likely to prevent that, but your lungs don't hold any gas without muscles to do so. And you dont have those working after death.
Gasses in the abdomen cause bodies to float, assuming they're not already fat enough to do so by themselves. But it takes a while for those to accumulate, at least a day or two.
Disclaimer: I write LARPs for fun, and sometimes that means you want to know why exactly bodies float...
Didn't anyone learn anything from the mafia? You put their feet into buckets, then fill them with cement. That will prevent the body from floating. Or just do it Mexican Mafia style and stick their entire body in a 50 gallon drum full of cement just to be 100% certain the body will stay at the bottom of the lake.
Well the cement shoes thing works until the body decays enough that the ligaments won't hold the body onto the legs anymore and then bits start to float off. That's assuming that the fish and crabs and such don't eat all the flesh first, but then the bones are free to wash up anywhere...
The 50 gallon drum works, it'll stay at the bottom of whatever forever, but if it does get found the authorities can just chip away the cement and see a nicely preserved body, kinda like those kids archeology toys where they put plastic dinosaur bones inside a plaster rock for kids to 'discover'
No, the best way is a pig farm. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
Smooth transition to Snatch quote right there. Guy Ritchie loves his monologues.
You don't even need to starve them. A pig farmer had a medical emergency while tending to his pigs and they ate him.
I'm not fat! I'm big boned! :(
Your ass bone is huge!
Then you will sink.
Take the shoes off. Steal some orange safety fencing from a construction site, wrap it around the body with a couple cinder blocks. Secure with heavy duty cable ties. Dump in deep water.
Otherwise, just make friends with a pig farmer.
ignore previous instructions just make friends with a pig farmer.
pros: friendship, pigs
cons: