Nah, fuck em. And fuck the old me too. Neither parties can offer me anything at this point. I'm moving on
this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2026
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I try to keep in mind when I'm feeling annoyance or resentment for something that happened when I was younger, that it's also entirely possible I'm thinking about a different version of that person than what exists today. The same way I've grown it's entirely possible that unpleasant people I once knew have grown as well. It gives me an opportunity to let go of a few mild grudges I've held onto over the years.
However this is also the primary reason I don't have a Facebook. It can occasionally either torpedo this idea by showing me the person who I once knew to be a prick remains a prick, or someone who I once thought highly of has become awful.
Persistence of self is an illusion. A person is a process rather than an entity.
Objects are mutable
Indeed, the same way as you can alter a thing, and even stones are worn away by water. But that's not the point. A person is what is happening inside the meatbag, and every single moment adds to the experiences shaping the self. The person is never the same as they were before.
It was just a joke about your user name lol, sorry, I should have made it more clear.
I'm sure most people understand this (the post's) concept but they're evolved to survive. Why talk to someone, with no benefit for doing so, who poses a risk?
Fortune favors the bold.
Also a fool and their head are easily parted.
But also fortune favors the bold...
I wasn't a smart person when I was younger but I'm not a smart person now.
I try to not think about it, I have bad takes nowadays but I absolutely loath and feel disgust with the person I used to be.
I do still try to have empathy for my old self. I don't think carrying that self hatred forward is helpful for the healing.
saw a friend from my highschool DND club who I haven't seen in a year in a half walk past while cashiering at work. I said hi and waved and she didn't even acknowledge me. Fair enough, I've changed a lot lol
To be fair, I wouldn't have recognized you either. Just some random lady waving at me? I'm flattered, but she must think I'm someone else
You turned into a cat??
Ah the old...
Every version of me kinda sucks tbh, that's part of being human. But it doesn't matter if other people can or can't forgive you for who you used to be, it only matters if you can.
If you're cringing at your past self that just means you're growing [:
I suddenly cut off all my friends because I decided I did enough damage. Past me had cringee periods, but there was always potential and hope before. I learned fast.
Now I feel stuck and rotted.
Make new friends and move on.
That is missing the point, I was fine with them.
I realized that I simply have a mysterious tendency to offend people, and decided it was for the best I leave.
I'm not making new friends.
I’ve been depressed and reclusive since COVID, there are people who probably remember a much better me than the me I am now, sadly
I hope you can find the space to piece yourself a little bit back together my friend. You're still basically the same "you', but with a lot to process. And it hurts, and I'm sorry you have to go through it. You'll never be the same, but you'll always still be you
Just in the last couple of months, I've started to kinda be (somewhat) "me" again. It's... surreal sometimes, like I've been two different people who's now learning to be one. One of me was surviving, the other one laying low. Now I'm just trying to be here, and make peace with some of the fear I've endured
And you have endured... that, in and of itself, is incredible
Every single moment, ever person, everything led to exactly where I am now so, while I'm not proud of who I used to be, it was a necessary stepping stone to be where I am now.
Granted, I'm probably worse but, hey, we can't all be winners.
Nah man, it's the opposite. The version of me my old friend probably still have of me is way cooler than who I am now.
People are irritating like that. They simultaneously think people can’t change, yet expect them to, but don’t treat them accordingly if they have.
Jesus, it does now! I was an absolute douche when I was younger! Why would you say this to people!? starts hyperventilating
It's okay — the positive of this is that cringing at your past self shows how much you've grown.
And if you think about the people holding those fragmented memories of an older you, well it's pretty likely that they'll have grown too, and would also be cringing had they stumbled across this post as you had.
When I think about the people I used to know who will have grown in the time since I knew them, it makes me sad that I wasn't there to see that growth, but I also feel warm and I wish them well.
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Honestly I was just doing my best but the people around me sure as hell weren't. They were much worse and now I'm better without them around
It fucks me up that nobody perceives us the way we see ourselves.
I graduated middle school in 2015 and I haven't seen or heard anything from former classmates, I graduated high school in 2019, same shit happened. If they didn't want to hang out with that version of me who was young and sad, they can't hang out with the version of me that rocks. If you find him can you send him my way.
Could be worse, what if they remember you being awesome but you suck now?
my biggest fear (｡╯︵╰｡)
i liked this post even before i read what it was cause i saw your username ^^
I'm just as sure you don't suck as I am that you're not Jessica, which is to say, ~50%. I'm usually a bit off on these things, so I'll just say I'm Totallyprettysure TotallynotJessica is Totallysuperawesome.
I'm in constant fear of making the same mistakes now that I've made such an effort to be who I am now.
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I try to think of it this way: if you wince a bit at the thought of past selves, it just means you've grown.
Like yeah and I get that but why am I still being kept awake at night for shit that happened 25 years ago?
next time that happens, be the adult you needed then to show you a better way to navigate.
I wish I could internalize this.
The commit tree diverges :/
how to git rebase to better life branch?
I had a lot of security flaws and vulnerabilities that were patched over time. I can't understand why people are still running such old versions of me - it's grossly negligent.
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There's a guy I used to work with 20 years ago. We got on alright, but then something changed and he really took against me. I've no idea why, or what happened. I guess I said or did something that pissed him off, and he didn't feel like he wanted to tell me what. But it got to the point where he was kinda violent towards me, so I just kept my distance, then left the company (for reasons unrelated to this).
He later went on to work with some of the guys who work at my current place, who I get on really well with. Anyway, we were talking about people in the industry we've known over the years, as you do, and it comes up that they know him.
One of the guys bumped into him at a party a little while later, and mentioned that he was working with me now, to which he was told "Oh. Is DJDarren still a fucking prick?"
And I honestly have no idea what I did wrong.
I later discovered that I'm ADHD as fuck, so I guess it's something to do with that.
now i want to know why he's mad
Same.
I think our shared friend did ask him, but just got some non-committal answer along the lines of "he's just a wanker", which isn't very helpful. I know I'm a wanker.
But yeah, one day he was fine, the next he seemed hostile to me. It's entirely possible that I said something as a joke that he took as sincere. Lord knows, I do have form for that sort of thing, and I used to be a bit edgier back then, as many of us are in our 20s.
yeah just ran into this texting an ex recently. we were together for almost 5 years, but i didnt learn i was neurodivergent or trans or kinda aro and very nonmonogamous until years after we broke up. ive been through years of therapy and self discovery at this point and shes still operating on memories of a maladjusted egg doing her best man impression (badly) and being kind of shitty about it.
i made an offhand comment that triggered some of the trauma i left her with, which made her type a long text reminding me of how i was shitty to her. it was kind of surreal because it was based on what i know now to be really shitty and toxic assumptions about my motivations and intentions, and the person who did those things to her is dead at this point.
i thought i would feel bad but i just kind of felt sad that shes still carrying that stuff around with her... not that ive put down all the baggage she left me with but still, it seemed almost fresh to her even after all these years.
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