this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

They are no longer hungry hungry hippos, they are now horny horny hippos.

[–] ineffable@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago

Your hippos now have an eating disorder. Medical treatment costs twice your previous food bill

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Granted. The goal of the game is now to eat the least amount of marbles. Nobody makes their hippos do anything and the game has turned into staring at unmoving plastic animals devoid of purpose. Somehow, its popularity outstrips all other sports and games. All televised sports are replaced with people staring at hippos. You find yourself in a tournament for charity. It never ends. You just stare at the hippos for what seems like eternity. What time is it? What day is it? How long has it been since the hippos hungered? Days? Weeks? Years?

[–] Susaga@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

The sentence "how long has it been since the hippos hungered" is just incredible.

[–] otter@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 year ago

They were adopted by someone else, they are no longer your hippos

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Granted, your hippos are now half as hungry. You also now have twice as many hippos.

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Granted.

They eat you.

[–] Nomecks@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Granted. They're no longer hip.

[–] SonicBlue03@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Hippo Chow ain't cheap.

[–] Pandantic@midwest.social 3 points 1 year ago

Granted, marble population grows unhindered. You can’t walk down the street without slipping and falling on your arse.

[–] SweetCitrusBuzz@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

They have eaten you.