Don't judge a person by instances of actions, judge by patterns of actions.
Trust your guts.
If you can, make many friends and distill partner(s) from there.
Good luck :)
this post was submitted on 15 Aug 2026
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Dating Advice
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Similar to r/dating_advice but with honesty.
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Dating advice is extremely personal. You'll get better advice if you tell us:
age, sex, location
why did you stop dating?
what is your previous dating experience?
what are you looking for (hookups, marriage, something orthogonal or in between)?
Why are you asking for advice - ie, what expectations do you have for why dating will not be easy and straightforward?
what does a typical day/week look like for you? What is your job and your hobbies? Do you stay active and eat a healthy diet? Do you have a solid group of friends and various networks for finding new friends? How much of your time and money is available for whatever you feel like, versus already allocated to something?
37 dude northeast region usa Im a trucker and an author No kids I stopped dating cz i founda Long term partner at 20 got then got divorced at 32 after a bad marriage
After my I’m hurt and i need to F to feel better phase that first year and a half i kind of stopped dating and doing the apps, i focused on work and found purpose in my writing
But as I’ve been working out, taking better care of myself ive been getting looks from attractive women and the fire in me has returned. I don’t want one last hurrah to go a f streak. I just want loose dating to find perhaps my true love…
I’ve kind of been a loner since i moved out of my dads house, after my first marriage ended i was left with nothing but my ego and a desire to continue living and a car… it wasn’t easy but i got back on my feet.. from homeless but working to craigslist shared apartments… now im just on the moment of i want something more but i don’t want to lock myself into a mortgage on a condo or some bs, i wish i could find a woman who has a job, lives relatively nearby and knows what she wants…. Granted that’s asking a lot nowadays from anyone… i guess i just want to get out of my 30s with a stable love life with someone I’m sharing a home with that isn’t a psycho like my first wife and where I don’t have kids I’m in a really good position and it’s the person I’m with wants them. I would be down for that too. But I can’t do the online thing anymore or the dating apps. Too much uncertainty and all the girls overseas want is a green card and a sugar dad in my experience and I’m not falling into that trap again.
Be yourself. You'll get a lot of rejection, and this will likely steer you towards hiding parts of yourself in favor of getting a match, but that match will only lead to a more strung out rejection. Be yourself first and foremost.
But also, all the bad history you got? SAVE IT FOR LATER. First make the connection, then you can trickle in the trauma when you're both up to sharing.
Be the person that your ideal partner is looking for. Get into hobbies that you enjoy, and actually do them. Is your ideal partner into fitness? then they're going to prefer someone who's fit as well. Is your ideal partner someone with a well rounded life? Then they're going to be looking for the same.
Don't date to find your sole source of happiness. Find happiness in your own life, through creative outlets and hobbies and trips and friends. Leading this kind of life will attract a partner.
Don't date someone who is a work in progress, because that work will conveniently stop as soon as they start dating you. Date a complete person. And if you followed the above advice, you'll be a more complete person too.