This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world
What does she have to offer the man that meets her criteria? Because if he's tall, handsome, kind, rich and successful he can have anyone and that's probably gonna be a hot 25 yo kindergarten teacher with a good sense of humor who let's him do whatever or similar. The power-boss millionaire woman is not really top of the pile for a relationship tbh.
Collecting and maintaining resources is difficult and time consuming, even in the age of wonder we live in. Women have the option to marry into wealth in a way men simply don't. It isn't surprising to see this.
Seems less like a story about women having problems to find good men, and more like a story about entitled rich people not being happy with anything
Yah thats likely the more realistic understanding of events
If you're looking for a good person amongst the wealthy....
I started reading believing it would be a piece on how difficult it is to find men who are not misogynistic incel fans of andrew tate or joe rogan, but it's about how hard it is to find a man who has an 8 figure net worth
London recalls a woman she worked with who asked for a man who practiced a particular religion, had a minimum net worth of eight figures, flew private, and had some idiosyncratic lifestyle specifications. He needed to be okay with her having children and to want more children. Oh, and of course he had to be a certain height and live within a designated geographic radius
I know this is a men's lib community but I just wanted to share a story about a woman friend of mine who is successful (not first-class everywhere successful or anywhere near these people). Let's just say that I work in UK tech (just typical senior salary -- not silicon valley FAANG salaries) and one of her bonus checks is my annual salary.
She met the love of her life in school and he never worked and just wanted to be an actor while she came up from boiler rooms to be an exec. When she hit her 30s or so he left her and took half her shit despite not working a day in his life.
She has trouble dating now and we talk about it often. She wants kids and wants a man that earns around her salary (even below but within her range) and she's finding it tough. I told her that on her dates that she probably shouldn't ask how much the man earns. She says it's to get things out of the way and that she typically earns more than them. I just said that it can be off-putting.
Truth is, there's a ton of insecure men that would not like to date a woman that earns significantly more than than them. And due to her personal trauma, I can understand wanting to clear things out.
With that said, I would not bring it up on a first date. Pretty distasteful, and makes it sound like you just care about money. But not everyone has the same holdups with talking about money.
Truth is, there’s a ton of insecure men that would not like to date a woman that earns significantly more than than them. And due to her personal trauma, I can understand wanting to clear things out.
I don't mind if a woman earns more than me, but when I dated a few women who did ... I did notice not being myself ...? It's like that thing where you're like "don't screw it up" or second guessing myself. I did notice that the women I went out with were more straightforward with what they wanted and told me earlier on and I think those threw me for a loop as well.
I know quite a few of my friends would hate to date a woman that earns more for sure, 'cause they want to be the one that "takes care" of the house.
lol sorry, another funny anecdote about my friend is that she went on a date with a man that thought he should earn and she should stay at home and have kids. Instead of being "repulsed" by it, she decided to go along with it and say, "do you earn enough to take care of me and a kid?" and he was like, "well .... not yet." I just thought that was funny.
With that said, I would not bring it up on a first date. Pretty distasteful, and makes it sound like you just care about money. But not everyone has the same holdups with talking about money.
She really hadn't been dating as much so she doesn't really get the dance. I mean ... I earn what I think is decent money but if a girl asked about it on the first date. I would be like ... what's her game?
I find that dynamic of one person "taking care of the house" a red flag. Who takes care of the house? The family. Including the kids. The money belongs to the couple. We need to be a team for this to work long term otherwise it just breeds resentment
Was gonna say, this sounds like a lot of mens storys I know. Equality yah??..
She's actually even more empathetic to men because of what she went through.
I think UK divorce laws are very down the middle. I remember Russell Brand was able to take half of her stuff and was entitled to $20 million but he turned it down.
“Almost all of our inbound calls are women at the moment,” says Amy Van Doran, founder of Modern Love Club, a high-end matchmaking service whose services begin at $100,000.
Amber Lee, the co-founder of Select Date Society, says 82 percent of her clients in the past three years have been female.
The problem of the underwhelming male is especially acute for accomplished and high-earning women like Charlotte, who are often looking for similarly situated men. Unlike men, who “don’t care if the woman is a barista at Starbucks or if she’s a preschool teacher,” according to Louie Felix, a nearly 23-year veteran of the matchmaking trade
Generally speaking, she says, men don’t require the same amount of hand-holding and “emotional nurturing” women do over the course of a contract. With women, “it’s a roller coaster, and it’s very emotional,” she says. “We’re riding the highs of the excitement about a date or a budding relationship and then we’re riding devastating lows with them when they get rejected or the guy breaks up with them.”
Her female clients often need help managing their expectations; a key part of her job is urging women used to wielding control to let go and trust her. She had a client who insisted that because she typically flies first class, any prospective partner should be able to fly first class too. “I was like, ‘Okay, let’s be real. How often are you on the plane first class versus being cozy with this awesome relationship?’”
Still, she wishes people could drop their transactional attitude when it comes to searching for love. “It’s not about ordering human beings like we order things on Amazon,” she says. Other matchmakers offered similar metaphors for their clients who walked in with long wish lists: customizing a BMW model to your specifications; ordering a pizza; building a bespoke robot. Sometimes, London says, it felt like “love has been removed from the equation.”
Comedy gold. Absolute hilarity.
I thought women were the sensitive and empathetic gender who cared more about personality than looks or income? At least that's what women claim. I don't see those qualities anywhere here.
Understand this article is about people with a spare $100k laying around to pay a matchmaking service. These people aren't representative of the population as a whole.
This is an assumption of gender, people, man or woman are more alike then folks care to accept.
I thought women were the sensitive and empathetic gender who cared more about personality than looks or income? At least that’s what women claim. I don’t see those qualities anywhere here.
I think it's best to see them as people with just as many flaws as any of us. Also, these are wealthy people in the upper echelon of earnings. I think many men likely have many flaws there as well.
Also, this could be selection bias as the women that are featured in an article or to reach out to a service like this is too picky than the many women that aren't.
Women are humans and just as faulty. Once you reach a position of status, you start thinking that you're better. That you earned your position there and thus deserve a reward. Typical
I'm just confused why anyone paying $100,000 for a match making service wouldn't be able to fly first class.
The women are paying for it, the ones being scouted are not.
sounds like these are looking for wealthy men who can support them
Not really. The cultural standard is that the man will generally marry at their class or lower while women will marry at their class or higher. So you have women who are successful and therefore should have a husband at that success level but are finding there are few men at that level for them. There is also a lot of competition because men at that equivalent economic success have one of the most open set of choices as to who they can partner with according to traditional gender norms.
Not every Hillary can find her Bill it seems.
Im not surprised. Don't get me wrong its easy to say all women are like this but some women are. I myself dated a girl back in the day who was otherwise nice and such but I felt she did not so much love me as I checked various boxes that made me acceptable. That just did not work for me. My wife on the other hand apprciated my qualities that I view as more core to my being. You know though I had a type and my wife was not the type but that other girl was. Then funnily I worked at a place and one of the people I worked with was a very typically hot girl. Later it turned out she was engaged to the manager of the office. I knew her pretty well and she said they met at a wierd (my term) social club where you either have to be a hot young chick or a successful man. Figure doctor as sorta a baseline. I believe it was free for the women but the men paid a fairly sizable fee.
The title says "hundred" but then the article itself is giving examples that are the median salary in the US. These people are paying tens of thousands for match makers to "sift" through the 5% of men who meet their metrics
5% is way too generous. 0.05% maybe.
Yeah I wrote hundreds because I saw a post on Instagram saying hundreds,
I'm shocked but not surprised to see its higher
Thank you. I had to keep scrolling quickly on my first link to even get a small glimpse of the article XD
Disabling javascript will let you read the article
it wouldnt surprise if those 5% men rich, would be pos to the women too.
I hope they realise that dating site algorithms are not built to work for them but rather to keep them pouring money into upgraded "premium" services.
If you're paying 100k for a matchmaker I don't think a premium account will be a problem
'Cause every girl's crazy 'bout a sharp-dressed man