this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2026
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Microblog Memes

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[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

I informed each of my 3 sons-in-law on their wedding day that each of my Daughters were "No deposit, No return" And so far, none of them has asked for a refund.

So I count that as win.

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 1 points 44 minutes ago

That's the cave man explanation of consummation too

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 104 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

Yeah, jokes about marriage are perfectly fine for a person with 5 marriages. If they don't like it, they can get married less.

[–] rustydrd@sh.itjust.works 27 points 9 hours ago

If you like marriages so much, then WHY DON'T YOU MARRY EM???

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

Or at least choose more carefully the next time 🤷🏻

[–] Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world 1 points 20 minutes ago

If you can choose, why don't you choose?

[–] djmikeale@feddit.dk 19 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

From a person who has been divorced once, and seen other friends get divorced. it's not so much about choosing carefully, it's about communication when the relationship gets tough or boring (and ideally before you get there). Finding the right person is the easy part, staying in love and staying happy - that's the difficult part

[–] Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world 1 points 20 minutes ago

I'll I'd be careful if I were you

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

Yeah I’d guess she either has unreasonable expectations, is a terrible communicator, or just a hot mess in general. Had a cousin like this. She was probably all three.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

You could argue that taking care to communicate openly and honestly is a choice, and that choosing someone able and willing to do that is a HUGE part of "finding the right person" 🤷🏻

But yeah, "communication is key" didn't become a cliché because it ISN'T true heh

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

If I had to guess she’s hot and a psycho 😂

[–] Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world 1 points 20 minutes ago

This is what I wish my mom was

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 48 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Errmm. At 5 marriages you gotta start thinking maybe it's you and not necessarily the choices you're making.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

¿Por que no los dos? 🤷🏻

[–] Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world 1 points 19 minutes ago

No espeako bravado encumpliato biznatch

[–] Taldan@lemmy.world 20 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

Every time I see this boomer joke, the number of marriages has increased

[–] Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world 1 points 19 minutes ago

I will marry you if you don't say that again

[–] doenietzomoeilijk@discuss.tchncs.de 35 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

That's because they keep giving her back.

[–] Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world 1 points 19 minutes ago

Give her it back

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 143 points 17 hours ago (8 children)

You can have one, maybe two divorces that aren't your fault.

But if you have 3 or more divorces, you are the problem.

[–] M137@lemmy.today 2 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

There are two reasons: you are the problem or your taste in an ability to find a compatible person is extremely bad. They're definitely part of the problem, but possibly not fully.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 1 points 1 hour ago

If you repeatedly have extremely bad taste in partners, that's also you being the problem, just in a different way.

[–] merc@sh.itjust.works 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Not only that, but this woman has had 5 marriages in a short enough time that her dad is still able to walk her down the aisle.

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

Eh... If your parents live into their 80s and you were born when they were about 20, you could easily still have them around in your 60s. And living into your 80s is pretty common. Certainly not unheard of to live into the 90s or 100s, so it's more than possible to be 80 years old and still have your father walk you down the aisle ... though, at that age, it might be difficult for him to walk that far unassisted.

[–] Goldholz@lemmy.blahaj.zone 55 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

Maybe also not get married again with 3 marriages behind you

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

After 1 I have no interest ever again

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 37 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Maybe they're the "I can't have sex outside of marriage, but I'm really horny!" type?

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[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 16 points 14 hours ago

Yep. Even if you aren’t an asshole it certainly means you make shitty partner choices over and over.

[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 27 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, I've thought the same. If you haven't figured it out by the third go, you probably won't.

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[–] Switorik@sh.itjust.works 20 points 13 hours ago (3 children)

You can be together and not get married.

[–] LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 28 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

There are a LOT of benefits to being married. Especially if one of you needs to make legal decisions for the other one.

That was one of the main drivers for pushing for gay marriage in the 2000's. There were a lot of high profile cases where one of the two were nearing the end of their life, and the family that were pissed about having a "gay son" who hadn't talked to them in 20 years were the ones making the decisions instead of the husband who wasn't technically a husband in the legal system for 20 years.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 12 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

conservative gays : but no, we don't need that, that's a straight institution. More boats in my throat please.

edit : boots , not boats, but fuck it, imma leave it in

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[–] faintwhenfree@lemmus.org 12 points 12 hours ago (3 children)

I know this woman that is a friend of a friend, she is hot by almost all definitions. She is i think 45 right now, but still looks fine. She is trying to find a guy to marry for the 6th time. Her plan is straight up pretend to be richer than she is, get married to rich growing people and get divorced and ask for significant money. Her first marriage last 10 years but 1st husband made millions while they were married and she got a 80m settlement. That's when something clicked in her. She has "earned" (I say earned because that's what she says she does) another 180m from 4 other marriages after that.

She is a complete deplorable person, but fuck if she isn't being smart here. She puts money in trust to retire well and make sure her daughter is well taken care of. Only thing I feel sad about is, she is teaching that to her daughter as well. Daughter is about to turn 18 in next year or two, and already talks about finding a billionaire for the daughter.

Only thing I would give her, she does help her friends quite a bit. Our common friend actually got around 40k for downpayment for the house. And from what I see she does treat our common friend quite well despite our common friend being just another pleb like me.

[–] doenietzomoeilijk@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

She puts money in trust to retire well and make sure her daughter is well taken care of.

If 260M isn't going to let you and the rest of your family retire in absolute comfort, you have some really expensive hobbies. That's a ridiculous amount of money.

[–] faintwhenfree@lemmus.org 3 points 10 hours ago

I have only met her 3-4 times, but I'm sure she spends a lot, I don't know if in million in a month, but for sure couple of millions a year at the bare minimum. She has rented a bungalow in Singapore with a pool, that shit alone costs around a million a year.

[–] FlyingCircus@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago

Jesus, what a sad life. I pity her.

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[–] Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world 16 points 13 hours ago (6 children)

This reminds me of my brother. I'd known my wife for two months before we got married. We celebrate 10 years next month

Meanwhile, in the same time frame, he's on wife six.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 11 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Sounds like my brohther in law. He and others were taking bets on how long my wife and I would last, with nobody thinking we would make it past a year.

It was 17 years this year. BIL is on wife #3.

[–] neukenindekeuken@sh.itjust.works 8 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

People like that think if they can do "better" than their peers, they're winning somehow with relationships.

They have a fundamental misunderstanding about what relationships are about.

Which is why theirs fail. They think it's a game and there's points and winners and losers.

They will never learn that it's about putting someone else's needs ahead of your own sometimes is what's best in life.

[–] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 7 points 12 hours ago

I have someone to care for, and she cares for me. That's all I ever wanted. Her getting excited about my dumb nerd stuff is just a bonus.

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[–] superweeniehutjrs@lemmy.world 78 points 18 hours ago (5 children)

Warm take: every marriage after the first should be a courthouse wedding. If it's one person's first, maybe a less than 30 people reception should be thrown. I don't know why I think this

[–] Reborn_Mormon@lemmy.world 1 points 18 minutes ago

I got married on a mountain when I was homeless so I got incriminated against by the whole police insubstrate

[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 76 points 17 hours ago (3 children)

Because if a “once in a lifetime event” happens more than once in a lifetime, it starts loosing meaning?

Also: I had a courthouse wedding and it was so special! Years later, when we could afford it, we had the “wedding reception”, only the big party. Way less stressful and a lot of fun. Totally recommend. Added bonus: I have two days to look back to

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