Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !uspolitics@lemmy.world
7) No Hit-and-Run questions.
Please don't delete your post for no apparent reason. If you plan on deleting a question later, say so in the post, or if you feel that you have a good reason to remove it, message a mod beforehand. It's not fair to the ones who took their time to answer, and it's not in the spirit of the community.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
In my experience, they tend to tell you right away, if they see/feel interest - from both sides
Yup.
And then in my experience, I go. "Oh. Dang"
I was a bit young and just fell silent, because they included it in their greeting, when I was a guest at their place
Yeah, she was pretty and I would have tried, if I would have had the confidence, but even with the invitation, I stepped back
Anyway I'm not really big on one night stands, I need to have some emotional connection. Else it just feels like wanking into a women.
But that's me and others probably would have taken that invitation
I guess there is a gender aspect as well. One of my dude friends casually mentioned they were poly when talking about relationships. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. Just "oh, cool".
This girl I knew who I was a bit on the fence about invited me on a date and showed up with two other guys. I don't have a problem with one night stands, but I have literally no interest in sharing. Then she got real mad when I didn't try to hook up with her then and there. I didn't even realize it was a poly thing until later that night, I thought she intended a platonic hang and I was the crazy one that thought it was a date.
Not sure, I'm a dude and it was the guy of the couple mentioning it at a hello
But anyway, that was a really different situation than most people will get into - and I don't want to explain that more
Edit: on second read, it seems we were in kinda the same situation ;-)
Pretty much like never having to ask if someone is vegan.
IME they tell you even if you have no interest and the topic never came up.
Oh come on, I was flattered, don't take this away from me ;-)
doesn't hurt to ask. better be informed than taken by surprise
Oh yeah it's okay, I'm poly and I don't mind being asked as long as it's done respectfully !
I would ask straight up, I feel like it would different if I was interested in them
All the people I know who are openly/partially openly poly told me so basically right away, I’m a petite conventionally attractive woman who’s weird as fuck so I’m guessing that’s why
The username is kinda on the nose, I feel like being more subtle.
When you say it like that then she's probably not poly since she never said she was
If you need sexual and/or emotional exclusivity in a romantic relationship, do ask, unless you want to go through quarreling and drama later on.
I would think this would come up at some point. Usually all couples sorta get to the exclusivity question at some point. No one expects after one date the other person won't see other people.
Yeah, ask.
I mostly just say that I'm poly when hitting on them. I'm married now so I mention that as well. They can respond as they wish
I'm very monog but most of my friends are poly. I have no problem asking people if they're poly. I honestly usually assume people are by default since I can count monog couples in one hand.