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My wife told me her cancer had moved to her brain. 22 days later through an unimaginable amount of pain and anguish she passed away.
I dont think anyone could possibly tell me anything that could hurt worse than that. (No fault of her own obviously.)
As a cancer survivor, as well as someone who lost the love of my life, I feel your pain. It can get better, but it does take way too long.
My heart with you, brother.
When I came back home from the hospital after my amputation, my wife of 30 years told me she didn't sign up for this, packed up her things and left.
It makes you wonder what she thought she signed up for.
"Aaand just sign the amputation clause here right at the bottom. That's it! You are now husband and wife!"
Covered under "in sickness and in health"
This happens more than people want to admit, and it can be sudden after a period of support. Like someone gets cancer and their SO sticks by their side until it gets stage 4, things get really messy and hard, and suddenly they're off starting a new life. My SO is a therapist and has seen it firsthand, it's gruesome and cruel.
Wow. Im sorry you encountered this.
While thankfully I have had nothing amputated (yet... but im diabetic), ive noticed that each of several partners over the years has just been abominable at showing empathy.
For example, if I tried to tell my current SO that im feeling a bit down she would absolutely get the shits with me and tell me how shitty her life is.
Theres something about kicking a dog when its down that some people just cant restrain themselves.
In hind sight, would it have been helpful for your partner to give you a few months to recover before leaving?
I mean it's right there, "for riches and in health, till inconvenience do you part".
I have a bit of a story to tell about this particular question.
It's a question I asked of myself.
Brought on by my sister calling child protective services on me after my wife died. She left me. With four children, and I was in mourning and not dealing well.
It led me the ask the most painful question of myself. Am I a good father?
The answer was no.
I wasn't a good father. And I'm glad she made that call. It woke me up, and I changed everything around. Or at least, I hope so.
How long ago was this, and how are things today? Username doesn't check out, I hope?
It was 15 years ago. It all worked out well. My kids grew up, well adjusted and loved, and we talk all the time. We've talked through what happened as well.
When I was being raped and tortured repeatedly by a younger male family member for over 2 years and cried for help, being told that it was something I imagined or made up to stir drama was extremely heart-shattering.
It didn't matter how much physical evidence I had gathered, nobody in my life would recognize the seriousness of the situation or even take the smallest steps to prevent the abuse from happening.
I was too afraid to call the cops because even my parents refused to believe me. I lived in a very rural town which likely never encountered a situation like mine. Nobody was on my side. My abuser poisoned my family and friends against me before/during/after the abuse, to make sure I had no one to go to.
Same here. My mother never believed it happened.
I blamed myself, because that's who society says is at fault when a girl has a high sex drive and gets in over her head.
If I hadn't had support and understanding from a friend's parents, I'm sure I would have killed myself.
I used to compete in an annual competition in high school, one year I got 4th, the next third. You needed first to progress to national level.
A friend of my teacher said “when do you just shoot the horse” right in front of me.
Thankfully I never saw that guy again, but Jesus, what an asshole. That was the last year I did that competition.
I'm so lost. I feel like I'm missing something obvious here. Are you the horse? What does this mean?
Yeah, he was saying how many times do I have to lose before they stop sending me to the competition.
Oh shit! That's absolutely brutal.
I was sitting around a picnic table with a few friends and a couple new people we didn’t know too well. Someone had the idea that the new people go around and predict something about each of us, who they had basically just met.
One of them went around and said something super nice about each person, like “you’ll get that job you always wanted” or “you’ll have kids that will end up doing great things” stuff like that, kind of impersonal but nice generic predictions.
When she got to me she stopped, looked at me really hard, and said “you’re going to die, sad and alone.” There was silence for a few seconds and then most of us started cracking up, because we were sure she was joking. But when we stopped laughing, I saw she hadn’t even cracked a smile, and she looked me straight in the eye and said “I’m serious.” Then moved on and said something super nice about the next person.
This was more than 15 years ago and it hasn’t stopped bothering me. Needless to say, she and I never became friends.
What the hell was her problem? Holy shit, that's absolutely mental.
Jesus Christ what the fuck
Maybe another stranger's prediction will cancel it out?
Your final moments will be full of joy as you reminisce on a life well lived.
You will unfortunately, at some point, have an erection that lasts longer than four hours. You'll need to go to the E.R. for it, but it'll be fine and won't affect your overall health.
I predict that you'll die at 90 years old from too many orgasms during a menage a trois
No, that guy holding a swastika flag at a Nazi march isn't a Nazi. You don't know anything else about him!
I don't need to, though - and now, I don't need to know anything else about the guy who said that, either.
Damn straight.
It was two occasions about eight years apart. One was Mom calling to tell me Dad died, the other was my brother calling me about Mom.
"...are you aware that that is 100% terminal within a year?"
I wasn't.
A guy screamed in my ear so loudly i got tinnitus
Was it something very interesting and thoughtful at least?
I'm leaving you.
:/
You better now?
I am. Thanks for asking.
No worries. I get it. I mean not really. But kind of. A different kind of, but you know.
I know. I'm 60 years old. It's happened a few times both ways. I'm not sure it hurts any less, butaybe if feelsess personal as you get older.
I don't know, man, at least you've had long lasting meaningful relationships. I have had peace, but never got to make a family. I figure, whatever you do in life it evens out more or less in the end. There's about as much happiness for everyone in a run. Maybe someday I might luck out and meet the woman of my dreams. We'll get a house, get married, have kids, a family together and a good life. But if that doesn't pan out, there's always hookers and cocaine.
"Grandma died during surgery". I didn't call her the night before because I thought it'd be awkward and I didn't acknowledge the risk of heart surgery.
"Mom tried calling you but nobody could reach you".
Till the day I die.
It’s not you mate; we all think there’s always more time than there actually is.
My wife telling me that she can't deal with me anymore in November 2024. We were together for twelve years. TBH, I was also sore that Trump just won the election despite that Project 2025 was public knowledge, so I was super vulnerable already, and her departure pushed me into a long-term psychotic break.
I had been getting progressively crazier in the years leading to her announcement. My psychotherapist discontinued my service to go on maternity leave some years before and I had then moved to Sacramento. Then the COVID-19 epidemic hit, everyone needed psychotherapy and so they all stopped taking Medicare since their schedules were packed with better payers. And then they all burned out.
So I went without mental health care for years figuring I could deal better than those who are not used to being crazy. Evidently not so.
There are more factors. Her job in construction was going south so she changed jobs to a non-profit that helps victims of human trafficking (and is still brutally busy but is far more fulfilled by her work), and the income difference affected our lifestyle.
I don't love you and I don't believe you that you love me.
You have to work to make a living.
