In all honesty, it works. Looks like a shitpost, but putting your pinkies on the underside of the burger along with your thumbs keeps the burger fillings between the buns. Changed the way I eat burgers.
this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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me_irl
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You ain't manly if you dont pinky promise hold the burger
That's how I hold burritos and overly stuffed tacos. Works well.
Hold it upside down. Top bun is thicker and gets more bitten off as you go. Better stability and you don't run out of one bun most of the way through
I realized recently I do this unintentionally without actually flipping it over (fingers are still on top bun). I bend my head super far forward and take a bite from the far side of it, effectively holding it upside down.
OMG I do something similar except I eat mine doing a handstand
When I was younger, I'd take the toothpick from the middle (sit down restaurant burgers, anyway) and put it at the other end of the burger until it wasn't needed anymore.
Anthony Bourdain once said about eating hamburger with toothpicks; I'll hang myself before I let a president order McDonald's in the Whitehouse for athletes and not release the Epfsteen Filees in which he is directly implicated in the molestation & murder of children, but also please don't do a side by side comparison of me and Jeff."
You can say "Epstein Files" on the internet. Here's an example:
"These corrupt pedos need to release the Epstein Files."
but also please don't do a side by side comparison of me and Jeff
lol Anthony did kinda look similar.
On. A. Level. I. R. Not. Comfortable. With.
I loved Tony & it still hurts a lot, but trust me when I tell you that he would laugh really hard at that joke. Once.
Ironically, only one of them hung himself....
Wait, is that ironic? Dontcha thunk?
P.S. what's the best way to make a name fancy like your's? Asking for a friend. They know html and Javascript but refuse to unlock the basement door from the outside. All I need is answers, but they keep demanding food and water for some reason.
When I was younger, I'd take it out and have pretend tiny sword fights with my brother.
Your approach was probably more practical.
So here's what I do. I remove the top bun and anything else stick to it and put it down on my plate. Then I eat the burger with a knife and fork. Essentially a deconstructed burger.
Skill issue
I've learned if this starts to happen, just turn it around and bite from the side it's sliding out. Works almost every time.
Meanwhile: I'm all like;
"this is an incredibly sloppy burger. Where am I??"
a voice whispers into my ear: "The American One"
and I'm like: "Which timeline, the one where Michael Jackson Fucked Macaulay Culkin or the one when Drmuphf did??"