this post was submitted on 10 Apr 2026
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Funny

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[–] Prunebutt@slrpnk.net 98 points 1 week ago (6 children)

Carl Sagan said that you need a universe first.

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 37 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Imagine the universe as a spherical cow.

[–] portuga@lemmy.world 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Physics would be a lot simpler if all cows were spherical

[–] Dagnet@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Me, an engineer: They aren't?

[–] late_list@piefed.zip 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'd imagine milking them would be somewhat more complex though

[–] dalekcaan@feddit.nl 5 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Yeah, that's why I prefer cubic cows. They're much easier to pack, too.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Efficiently packing 17 square cows.

Efficient packing of 17 squares

[–] Rubanski@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 week ago

I do not like this

This is the Superwaffle Debacle all over again!

flips syrup table and leaves

[–] otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

Certainly easier to get a proper angle on 'em.

I can't believe we're having this argument again. Hexagonal cows when two dimensional. Uh, regular icosahedral cows in three, I don't know the names of the shapes in four but you'll put your eye out

How thick of a universe ༼ ͡⚆ل͜ ͡⚆༽

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

No, that was to bake a pie. He didn't say universe before cow.

Therefore, cow is infinite.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Obviously when discussing milking cows, we assume a spherical cow universe.

[–] hansolo@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why not cow-shaped universe?

Asking for a friend.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Right. The kid was saying the same thing, in a way. The question presupposed the existence of the cow. Making an apple pie "from scratch" presupposes the existence of apples. Both presuppose the existence of the universe.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is a physics problem not a philosophy problem

[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Spherical cows in a vacuum?

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well they didnt ask him, did they?

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 5 points 1 week ago

That never bothers Neil deGrasse Tyson either

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 0 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The only person who could be more smarmy in that regard than Neal deGrasse Tyson.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Carl said this, in response to "from scratch", to make the broader point that we shouldn't assume the universe has always existed in its present state. Nothing smarmy about it. And, it worked very well. The quote is well-known 50 years later, the point is taken.

Neal, yeah, a smarmy egotist, no doubt.

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You’re not wrong, and it wasn't really a knock against either of them.

It is being smarmy, because that’s not how people normally think or talk. IMO, Sagan has earned the right. Tyson has not.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 37 points 1 week ago (6 children)

What a strange question. What would be a better answer even, hands, nipples, what?

[–] zip@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 1 week ago (2 children)

A bucket to catch the milk, maybe?

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 48 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I have a bucket, but not a cow. Pretty sure someone with a cow but no bucket is closer to being ready to milk a cow than I am.

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

But if i was collecting supplies for milking I’d get the cow last. Once you get the cow moving around is a lot more difficult.

[–] kunaltyagi@programming.dev 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The mouth is a small bucket so someone with a cow can milk it without issues.

PSA: don't drink raw milk, even if it's fresh and straight from the teat

[–] pipes@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

I'm sure it's fiiine, lots of babies are doing it. They can't read your PSA anyway so it's all good :P

You could use the bucket for other things while waiting for a cow to arrive

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And a stool.

Other than that, yeah, you need a cow.

[–] kunaltyagi@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago

Nah, no stool needed (possible with a sitting technique)

And the cow could give you a big one if you are patient enough😂

[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 9 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Not sure why I need nipples to milk a cow. As long as she has an udder I think it'll work either way.

Look when I get my titties out it makes the cows feel better

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 2 points 1 week ago

Solidarity smdh

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 5 points 1 week ago

Money or a gun to acquire the cow.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Like baking a cake from scratch, first you must start with creating the universe.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 2 points 1 week ago

I'm just going to use ready made universe powder

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Who says there is a better answer? Pretty sure the kid was right.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space -1 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The will to abuse animals.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If you think milking a cow is abusing the cow, you must be the softest human being in the world.

You probably think petting a dog is abuse.

[–] Saapas@piefed.zip 1 points 1 week ago
[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Captain Obvious: The Early Days

[–] probable_possum@leminal.space 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Yes. But does it have to be your cow? And can you keep the milk? What does the calf say about that?

[–] Tudsamfa@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?", am I right fellas?

[–] probable_possum@leminal.space 1 points 1 week ago

Is the milk free if you have to work for it? ;)

[–] PeriodicallyPedantic@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 week ago

The laws of physics