this post was submitted on 09 Apr 2026
79 points (97.6% liked)

Not The Onion

152 readers
99 users here now

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
CidVicious@sh.itjust.works
79
Naked Man Bursts Into Tesla Service Center With a Shotgun (futurism.com)
submitted 2 months ago by throws_lemy@reddthat.com to c/nottheonion@sh.itjust.works
16 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 16 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

That article is a wild ride!

Naked guy with shotgun targeted Tesla? Nope, just one of many that day:

The man, later identified as 35-year-old Ed Teece, was reportedly “running down the street smashing windows” before he made his way into the Tesla location.

So some drugged/mentally ill person right? Nope:

Teece is a Yale University grad, where he was a member of the 2009-2010 lightweight rowing team.

...and...

Later in 2025, Teece’ began’s profile says he began an MBA program at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, which he has yet to finish.

So this naked guy was just running around with a shotgun. At least I'm glad he didn't fire it. Nope:

Police then raided Teece’s nearby warehouse, uncovering “evidence that the suspect had discharged the shotgun” a few times.

[–] AltheaHunter@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Is the logic that a Yale grad/Wharton student couldn’t possibly be mentally ill or on drugs? If so, I present the last two republican presidents as counter-evidence.

[–] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Hell, the Unabomber was a Harvard grad and had a phd from U Mich.

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 0 points 2 months ago

Is the logic that a Yale grad/Wharton student couldn’t possibly be mentally ill or on drugs?

"Couldn't" no. Less likely? Yes.

If so, I present the last two republican presidents as counter-evidence.

The Republican presidents have been a disaster for the USA (and the world for that matter), but you're proving my point that (so far) we haven't had one literally running down the street naked with a shotgun.

[–] Fredselfish@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

He was a white man, why he was not shot after running towards the police with a gun. Fucking hell.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

You answered your own question because he was white

[–] nkat2112@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

I was dying in laughter over the style of your comment in describing the craziness of the situation. Thank you for the hearty laugh!

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Police officers responding to calls at the service center were able to tackle the alleged perpetrator, who reportedly sprinted at them with his weapon in hand.

Yeah, it's Berkeley, but I'm still surprised he wasn't shot.

[–] RickyRigatoni@piefed.zip 8 points 2 months ago

I guess no cop wants to have "shooting the naked shotgun man" on their record for the rest of their career.

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Is Florida Man on vacation?

[–] FlordaMan@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Being Florida man is a mindset.

[–] Mercury@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everyone has a little Florida man in them.

[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

New monster ad campaign. "Everyone has a little Florida man in them... Release him!"

[–] capuccino@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Didn't knew that Naked was a state

[–] tanisnikana@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Shares a border with Confusion and West Frustration.