this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2026
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Unpopular Opinion

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Have been almost completly vegetarian for the last 4 and a half years and was pretty much a carnivore before that, so I feel this is as unbiased of an opinion as is possible.

The Beyond, Gardien, Impossible, etc fake chicken have more flavor, nearly indistinguishable texture, are just as juicy, and aren't greasy. At this point, I consider them better than regular chicken with the sole exception of fried chicken which was never my favorite but I can see the appeal of it.

I'll concede that the beef substitutes have a ways to go (I like them and they're not bad but they're not fooling anyone, either) but they're not the subject of this opinion.

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[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 1 points 1 minute ago* (last edited 1 minute ago)

Meatless chicken is better than regular chicken

This makes me want to find a crowded street and punch random people in the dick.

[–] albbi@piefed.ca 4 points 2 hours ago

The beyond steak tips are pretty good. I've been using it as a beef substitute in tacos and in Hamburger Helper. The Hamburger Helper meal is now my 5 year old's favourite food.

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

Quorn is the best I've had. I don't think it's quite as tasty as real chicken, but it's close enough for plenty of uses. It's a touch dry. It has very good verisimilitude to slightly overcooked chicken.

I find Gardien's beef crumbles to be equally enjoyable as beef for chili and tacos and overall better when considering convenience, putting aside the ethical argument.

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 3 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Everyone I've tried is obviously fake. They're too rubbery. The texture is all off. Not awful, but nothing on the real thing.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space -3 points 55 minutes ago

The secret ingredient is torture

[–] Prok@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

They have more flavor but the flavor isn't chicken... Despite being called chicken. My main issue with imitation meats is just that they won't be honest about what they are... If it's a flakey tofu or something of a certain style just name it that, why call it the thing people are trying to avoid?

[–] Gold_E_Lox@lemmy.dbzer0.com 0 points 1 hour ago

why call it the people are trying to avoid?

firstly, culture, specifically cooking culture is very much based around 4 main protein types, beef chicken lamb and pork. when cooking you want something easy and obvious to substitute, so you pick the thing labeled the thing you want.

also, most people don't stop eating meat because it tastes bad, they stop eating it because it's inherently cruel and a huge burden on the world's fragile ecosystem. of course i still want a juicy steak, but morality gets in the way and i compromise.

[–] cuboc@lemmy.world 8 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Hard agree, but that's probably I'm only used to the 'plofkip' variety. 'Plofkip' is a Dutch word which roughly translate as 'Exploding chicken', which is chickens that are raised at an unnatural rate. After being um.. processed, the meat is commonly injected with water as well. That stuff smells vile and the taste is mediocre at best. It is also almost physically impossible to burn it while cooking because of the water content.

I would not know what a chicken would taste like if it had had an actual life. I am told, it is a world of difference, but I would buy the vegetarian or vegan alternative anyway.

[–] FudgyMcTubbs@lemmy.world 2 points 3 hours ago

I raise my own meat chickens (cornish cross). They see sunlight and get fresh pasture at least two times per day (chicken tractor). They eat bugs, worms, frogs, and grass, and anything else they might encounter, as well as meat bird food.

They taste much better than the factory birds you can buy at grocery stores. I dont know that i would describe the taste as "a world of difference," but definitely much better.

Plofkip sounds terrible.

[–] sudoMakeUser@sh.itjust.works 42 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

I prefer my chicken meatless too. Honestly the bones and feathers are my favourite part.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Just picturing OP savagely gnawing on the bones and growling at anyone that comes close.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 3 points 3 hours ago

What I do in my free time is not for you all to judge. 😆

[–] remon@ani.social 16 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

I just drink the blood and throw out the rest.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 11 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

If you don’t juice the whole bird with one of these things you’re missing out on vital nutrients.

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[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 5 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

The worst part is that you have to eat the beak

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[–] Flyzeyez@lemmy.world 1 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Aren't the sodium levels really high with that stuff? I'm not trying to dismiss all the benefits of getting away from meat but you can't ignore that a lot of that is ultr-processed.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 1 points 4 hours ago

A little bit high, yeah, but you don't usually need to salt or season it in most cases. Not to mention regular chicken often gets heavily salted, so in my mind it's more or less the same in the end.

[–] HubertManne@piefed.social 5 points 6 hours ago

Ill find out when I find them with price parity.

[–] Rambomst@lemmy.world 19 points 9 hours ago (8 children)

I have tried a number of the substitutes available in Australia, our products aren't even close. My missus is vegetarian and she hates them as well, there is some sort of underlying chemical taste to most of the products over here.

[–] infectoid@lemmy.world 10 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Impossible mince has entirely replaced beef in our pasta sauces and Mexican dishes. Soaks up the flavours around it well and has that familiar chew/bounce of minced beef. But it really can’t stand on its own. My mum even made some impossible meat pies for us and they were excellent.

As for the chicken substitutes in Australia, no real winners yet. Best we’ve had is rissoles that are 50% chicken.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 6 points 8 hours ago

Impossible mince has entirely replaced beef in our pasta sauces and Mexican dishes. Soaks up the flavours around it well and has that familiar chew/bounce of minced beef.

Has a different name in the US so had to look it up, but yeah, it's great for sauces and spiced dishes. I also have had good results with the "meatless crumbles" which are just ground/minced beef-like textured vegetable protein as they also soak up flavor like nobody's business and have similar chew/bounce

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[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 7 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Hey in the way if beef substitutes, have you tried carne de soya? It's sold as "textured soy protein" here in the US which isn't as tasty sounding, but effectively it's dried, shelf stable tofu and it's hugely popular among the poor in mexico for being dirt cheap and very healthy.

Because of it's dry sponge like properties, it soaks up flavor and fats like you would not believe, and the way it's crumbled let's out Cook to be nearly identical to perfectly cooked 90:10 ground beef. I now use it for everything but meatloaf and biscuits in gravey.

You can mix any combination of flavor with some olive oil and water/broth/beer/thin sauce/etc as a marinade, toss it in to soak it up, throw it in a pan and cook it until it's the texture you like. Made sloppy joes with it, better than with beef. Flavored it like I was making Italian sausage, best pasta I've ever had. Mixed it with bacon fat, pale ale, and a fist full of spices, put it in chili, and my coworkers refuse to believe it's not two pounds of chorizo. My autistic spouse is the only person who can genuinely distinguish the difference in texture, and I rule out that it's because she introduced me to it. It even comes out perfectly in a crock pot!

To top it off, it's $1 for 5oz, which is about 2lbs of beef worth of volume, has the same protein per serving, and a third of the calories with still half the calories after you add in your oil.

I'll be frank, I'm not into it for a health food reason, I'm into it for a culinary experience reason. I can flavor it in two different profiles and cook them both in the same dish, and the flavors will stay distinct in the meaty bits while mingling in the sauce. It's functionally flavorless on it's own and uncooked has the texture of fresh crumbly cheese when rehydrated, so you could probably soak it in whey, salt and herbs to get unmeltable cheese. I'm even toying with the idea of grinding it to smaller bits, flavoring it with vanilla and simple syrup, and putting it in rocky road cookies as a substitute for marshmallow that won't be sticky or caramelize on the bottom of the pan. The possibilities here are endless!

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 3 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Not that brand specifically, but I use the TVP crumbles in a lot of dishes. The ones I get are frozen and like $5.50 for ~14 oz so not exactly a bargain but I'll keep an eye out for that brand next time I'm out. They go great in sauces or for chili, tacos, and things like that.

[–] Postmortal_Pop@lemmy.world 2 points 41 minutes ago

Carne de soya is what it's called in mexico, literally "soy meat" lol ask about it at Hispanic or Asian markets if you have any in your area, they'll have the dry stuff cheap.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

Just look for dried tvp and it should be much cheaper and functionally similar across brands. Plus you can determine the flavoring yourself. Adding a little no beef better than bouillon when you marinate/cook it can go a long way towards increasing the beefiness.

[–] shutz@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 hours ago

How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?

[–] oce@jlai.lu 11 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (1 children)

I wonder to what kind of chicken you are comparing it though considering you mention fried chicken. Some minced chicken mixed with condiments? I can believe that. A high quality well roasted chicken with no condiments needed? I have doubts the substitutes are there.

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 7 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Filets, cutlets, popcorn chicken, tenders, nuggets, strips (like you'd use for fajitas), as well as dishes made with those (chicken soups, cassseroles, etc). Haven't seen a good "drumstick" or "wing" substitute unless you allow for boneless but those are basically nuggets lol. Same for rotisserie chickens.

The closest thing to a rotisserie chicken would be like a Tofurkey and while they can be good, they're not fooling anyone.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 5 points 8 hours ago

You're talking cuts of meat and the person you're replying to is talking about seasoning the meat - does using just a small amount of salt and pepper create a noticeable difference in flavor between raised and generated meat?

[–] lowspeedchase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

My brother in owning tastebuds... On all cooking shows/challenges/etc, they always do side by side comparisons - which is the best tomato sauce? Blindfolds, side by side comparisons... You know why? Because NO ONE would be able to compare a sauce from today to a sauce from when we filmed last week, much less FOUR YEARS AGO.

This is a pet peeve of mine as my irl community is filled with vegans/vegetarians and I hear shit like this ALL THE TIME.

"No trust me it tastes exactly like XXXX"

"When's the last time you had XXXX?"

"Highscool"

long sigh

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[–] _deleted_@aussie.zone 9 points 9 hours ago (7 children)

How is it chicken if it doesn’t have meat?

[–] Monstrosity@lemmy.today 12 points 8 hours ago (2 children)
[–] ptz@dubvee.org 1 points 6 hours ago

😆 I'm stealing this.

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[–] bearboiblake@pawb.social 7 points 9 hours ago

Unless it's from the animal suffering and dying region, it's just sparkling protein

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 7 points 9 hours ago (3 children)

Great post :)

I can't say I agree in detail, but I don't disagree completely either.

I'd say that it depends on brand, preparation, and then personal taste (as in the variability of human taste as a sense, not preferences) as to whether a given substitute is going to be better, acceptable, or worse.

Texture wise, I'd agree that the usual options are on par. Slightly different, but not in a bad way. Juiciness, in my experience, is iffy. Definitely not as greasy; but for some dishes, that missing fat is a significant detriment. Flavor is more like texture; any given person is going to interpret the chemicals on their tongue slightly differently.

I think where the substitutes often fail for the most part is the smell, not the actual on-tongue taste. Even though most chicken meat isn't going to smell a lot, it is there, and the nose is very important to perceived flavor. I've yet to smell any chicken substitutes that smell right at all, though none have smelled bad. Soups and stews that aren't very chicken centric, that won't matter. But other stuff, it can and will.

Something like chicken noodle soup though? That's a hell no lol. You can't currently get anything that will make a stock that actually tastes right. I'm not saying you can't make good soup with chicken substitutes, just that it's a totally different taste. Enough so that calling it by the same name would be a joke.

Where chicken substitutes shine is nugget size dishes that don't rely on the chicken fats and soluble components for the flavor. I've had some sesame substitute that was as good or better than chicken. Stuff like that, with sauces, or even straight up breaded nuggets, that's where even if the substitutes didn't taste of anything at all, they'd be just fine.

Now me? I tend to be of the mind that for most dishes, you're better off just abandoning the original meat based recipe entirely and just cook things that make veggies shine on their own.

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[–] brendansimms@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

also, non-dairy ben&jerry's >> regular b&j

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

I had one that tasted hella good, but the texture with how it was like cabbage or something folded up a bunch, it was like chewing a wad of toilet paper.

The most perfect meat substitute I have ever had was carrot bacon. Cut thin enough, cooked to crispiness and covered in seasoning and liquid smoke, it's indistinguishable from real bacon. It even kinda looks like bacon.

[–] Zwuzelmaus@feddit.org 4 points 9 hours ago

Meatless chicken

You want only the bones??

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