this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2026
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I did it. (files.catbox.moe)
submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by chattre@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
 

But I almost didn't do it. We were having a lot of fun and I felt like I would be ruining the vibe. But when I was sitting there feeling like the moments in front of me were slipping into the void, I felt like there was a choice between uncomfortable familiarity or a chance to make myself a reality.

I asked for some time. They gave me it. There was crying, stuttering, stalling, and lots of silence. I finally came out to my 2 best friends. Lots of hugs and talking, mostly about how hopeless I felt before I figured it all out. They really listened and responded. I'd never done something like that before so it all felt like a dream. But I know this is real, I can't take it back, but I don't want to. I finally feel like I'm not lying about myself to some of the people I love the most over and over again. Not just about who I am but how I feel.

When it was time to go one of my friends used my new name that I told them about. I thought it would feel weird because I'd only ever read it on my personal devices, but hearing it out loud felt natural in a way... better...

This is going to take a long time and it's going to be difficult. But I've done difficult before. One step at a time...

Extra bits... (the video)An R160B Siemens train we rode on our way. It's the best sounding of the bunch.

Love NYC and wanna move back :3

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[–] kivihiili@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 3 days ago

yay!!! i felt the dissociation too, don't think too much of it <3

[–] grue@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

As an urbanist, I would like to congratulate you on starting your alternative transportation journey.

[–] chattre@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago

thx ❤️❤️ many of the F/M train swap jokes have not gone to waste!!

[–] celia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 days ago

Congratulations :D

[–] Shirow@lemmy.zip 9 points 4 days ago

Congrats! :3

[–] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 4 days ago

yay. congratulations! :3